What to do when she has false expectations

Hey Guys,

 

I got an excellent question from a man today, regarding what to do with a woman who may have false expectations based upon your skill at creating attraction.

 

This IS an issue you will run into, and it’s something you must know how to deal with and avoid.  Read his question, and my answer below.

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What if everything you ever thought you knew about dating and relationships was just plain wrong?  Would you keep doing the same things and getting the same results?  Or would you try something new and radically different?  To stop dating, and

start living, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm before this site is removed.

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First I have to say the Pdf article was excellent This has really pulled together what bits and pieces I had been getting from those PUA blogs. When you wrote about personal authority and about be who you want to be, Family man or Rock Star and that you can transition, that really helped me with some internal conflicts I had. As well as with the Bad boy attitude, we all have a little bad boy, but I was pushing that to a point where I said that’s not me, but pair the two and Bam!

 

So my question, I’ve learned enough about attraction to be dangerous, and I believe strongly that with great power comes great responsibility, thus the problem. I created some strong attraction with a woman but failed to define the relationship so she put her hopes into as she wanted things to be and when hit a cross roads it became obvious we weren’t on the same page. So I have to make a decision break it off, completely remove myself from her life the typical break up. Or go the hard route of trying to redefine the relationship Just friends or lovers. But she,  as most women are socially programmed, thinks I’m that one man to sweep her off her feet. I know there is no one answer here, so any input is greatly appreciated.

 

Sincerely,

Tom J

 

JA:  Thanks for the email, Tom—you bring up a great question here.  First off, I do believe very much in the Spider Man Philosophy—with great power comes great responsibility.  That’s why it’s important to know what it is you want from a woman before you start creating attraction, and once you have an idea of who she is, where she fits in your life.

 

I’ve never been one to get involved with the “typical break up,” because it’s what typical men do.  In fact, I’ve never broken up with a woman—had a few break up with me, but those were mostly temporary.

 

What you want to do is gradually dial down the relationship, to the point where you and her are friends. If you start treating her as such, she’ll gradually sense your pulling away and will come to her own conclusions.  A woman who wants a committed, deep connection type relationship will not stay with a man who won’t open up to her. But if she’s been an asset to your life, there’s no need to remove her—you never know what will happen in the future, or who she may introduce you to. 

 

On with the fun…

 

 

-John Alanis

“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”

 

PS To discover even more attraction secrets, go to:

 

http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm

 

 

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