Hey Guys—
First off, don’t forget about the free, “step by step secrets to getting physical with women” teleseminar, happening tonight with Jon Sinn. There are still a few slots available, and you can register for the call by going to:
http://www.effortlesscommunication.com/physical.htm
This IS a crucial attraction skill, the breakpoint for many men, and if you don’t master it, you will not succeed with women, no matter if you just want to date, or want a wife.
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On with today’s lesson. I received a very good question from a man in the UK, regarding how women respond to sudden movement. Read it very carefully, as well as my reply—you’ll learn an important secret about how to act around women.
OK JOHN,I have a question for you
first let me give you some background, because I am sober enough to know that this is wholly relevant.
I am a 39 year old guy, married for 18 years, to a control freak, separated for 9 months.
Tonight I was in a bar near my house where I go regularly, talking to some guys.
In this bar I have noticed a redhead, twenty-something, who I have exchanged a few glances with , though I am not terribly interested in.
However, she was standing behind me at the bar, (unbeknown to me as I was sat not facing outwards, bad I know ,but I was simply chatting), when I stood up to go to the bar myself.
As I simply stood up and turned around, she instinctively moved back 2 paces, and this set off alarm bells.
What I am trying to figure is, why did she do this so automatically, was I shy in some way ,too forceful, predatory or just plain unattractive ,as I really thought I was beginning to get a handle on this stuff, though not actively practising yet.
My confidence is of course at rock bottom, can she sense this so easily, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill , as we English say.
Any thoughts of “THE KING” would be very gratefully received as I must admit I am at a total loss by this tonight, though it is probably so obvious to any reader.
Thanks,
Andy
JA: Thanks for the email, Andy. I actually do have several comments here. First off, her reaction was more than likely a reflex than anything else. You have to understand that while women like men, and like to get physical with men, in the deep recesses of their mind there is always that small fear that a man could attack her or try to physically overwhelm her.
That’s why you never want to make any sudden moves or gestures around women—it triggers the flight or fright response, and obviously kills any attraction. Women talk about how much they love a “smooth man” and if you look at what “smooth” really means, it’s the absence of sudden gestures.
Can she sense your lack of confidence? Sure, and that’s a turn off too. But confidence is not that difficult to rebuild—the more you talk to women, the more confidence you will build. As Bill Parcells says, “Confidence comes from demonstrated ability, and confidence allows you to play fast.”
So, put yourself in position to demonstrate your ability, realize there will be setbacks along the way, correct your mistakes, and you’ll be confident. Works just as good in the UK as it does in the US.
On with the fun…
-John Alanis
“The King of Let ‘em Come to You”
PS Be sure to check out my witty saying of the day (it comes with a picture of a hot woman, and you’ve got to see today’s), one line of wisdom, sarcasm and entertainment on my new blog at http://johnalanis.wordpress.com
It’s so cool you’ll want to pass it around and leave your own witty saying—see if you can top mine!
PPS Questions? Comments? Send them to questions@johnalanis.com
Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too—don’t leave them out of the fun!
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