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March 06, 2006

Now, this exclusive club is offering free memberships... if you hurry

Dear friends and subscribers,

Did you know there is a special, elite club of doers, men and women, who have access to insider secrets you don't? It's true--and there is good news! For a limited time, you may claim a free trial membership to this exclusive club, giving you insider privileges and access to secrets few people will ever know.

To claim your free trial--before a doer who took faster action does--simply go to http://www.johnalanis.com/doers_insiders_club.htm right now. Tomorrow might be too late.

Sincerely,

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Again, to claim your free trial membership to the Doer's Only Insider's Club, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/doers_insiders_club.htm

Posted by john at 04:53 PM

The truth about self esteem

Hey guys,

Awhile back I saw a very interesting episode of 60 Minutes regarding the inflow of the "self esteem generation" into the workplace. These were all the kids who got a prize for showing up, not for winning (wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by elevating a winner), who'd been praised, spoiled, and coddled by well intentioned parents and teachers, and who were getting a very rude awakening in the real world--something they were completely unprepared for.

One of the guys they interviewed said transitioning these "love me because I showed up kids" was a real problem, because they expected rewards without achievement, something they were used to all of their lives.

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Do these kids have any real self esteem? No, they do not. Self esteem doesn't come from "just showed up ribbons" or constant praise and reassurance, it comes from achievement and accomplishment. It comes from taking action and overcoming odds.

It comes from winning, and loathing of losing. The people with the highest self esteem are those who hate losing to the point that they take action to never lose. Now, they play fair, they don't cheat, they never blame anyone for their outcomes except themselves, but they hate losing more than anything else. It drives them to achievement, and sends their self esteem into the stratosphere.

Here's the truth: if you're going to be successful with women, you have to have self esteem. Women are magnetically attracted to men with high self esteem--not the phony, "I just showed up so love me" crap. Here's a big secret: if your self esteem is not where you want it to be, you can quickly and easily skyrocket it to where women can feel your sense of yourself. And, quite frankly there are a lot of guys who've taken some hits, had some losses, and their self esteem is shaken--they start questioning themselves, and their esteem plummets. I've had (brief) episodes of it myself, and if you're alive and human, it will happen to you to.

But, when it happens, all you have to do is start the rebuilding process. Now, I don't mean doing something goofy like wandering around muttering "I esteem myself." That doesn't do anything except make you look stupid.

To rebuild your self esteem, here's what to do: set a goal, no matter how small, and accomplish it. Don't make it an easy one (like breathing or getting out of bed), make it one where you have to challenge yourself a bit, where you have to push your boundaries. For some guys it may be something like being able to sprint up a hill four times where you could barely walk it before.

For some guys it may mean having simple conversations with women.
For other guys it may mean learning to speak in public. But whatever it is, it should be something that challenges you, even scares you a bit. You may not be quite sure you can do it--but when you take action anyways, and accomplish something you didn't know you could do, your self esteem goes through the roof... and the women come running.

Remember, they don't flock around the loser at the end of the event, nor do they flock around the guy who just showed up. They run to meet the winner, because his self esteem pulls them to him.

It doesn't have to be anything great or grand, just something that challenges you. And when you accomplish what you set out to do, something magical happens--you want more. The feeling of achievement is the ultimate addiction, and you won't be able to stop yourself. The more you accomplish the more you want to achieve, and the easier you discover it is to achieve.

So, if you want to be successful with women, just start building your self esteem and you'll have more than you can handle. So few guys have true self esteem, because they're wusses who whine to be rewarded because they showed up. Show 'em who the true winner is... they'll know because you'll be the one with all the women.

On with the fun--

-John Alanis
The King of Let 'em Come to You

PS What if everything you were ever taught about women, dating and relationships was just plain wrong? Imagine how much better off your life would be if you knew for sure what really worked--see http://www.effortlesscommunication.com/enter.htm for details.

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Posted by john at 10:24 AM