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March 10, 2006

What, the King worry?

Dear friends and subscribers,

I've always loved Alfred E. Neuman's "What, Me Worry?" saying from Mad Magazine. To tell you the truth, that kind of describes my view on women and relationships. Why? Because I know if one goes bad, I just put my own "system" to work for me, and two (or more) great ones show up. To be as "worry free" as the King, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Then you too, can say, "What, me worry?"

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Don't delay--or you may spend a lot of time worrying that you missed out on what may be your last chance to choose your own relationships with women forever! Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm at once.

Posted by john at 04:44 PM

Online dating, nice guys, and other odds and ends

Hey guys,

I got a good question from a man new to this list, asking about several different, relevant issues. He brings up several good topics, so I figured I'd reprint his email and answer his questions.

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Hey JA,

I am very new to your teachings. I felt (and feel) like I needed help in many areas with being successful with women; building confidence, picking them up, what they want, courting, etc - so I purchased a book and got on your email somehow and its been a few months now, and glad that I did. This is helpful information and realize this is a process and have to practice to get better, kinda like going to job interviews until I land that big job. Also what women want and how a man can be confident in themselves.

I've been divorced for over 2 years after 10 years of marriage where I was a faithful husband. Since then it has been nothing but interesting dating again. What I've found is my confidence if fine and attract both ok and very attractive women, but start loosing more confidence and act too excited with anyone that I'm very attracted to and it shows when we first meet and for some reason I push them away seeming less confident and desperate, but have no problem keeping the ones I don't care as much about. Also feel in my mind there are women out of my league. Bottom line is getting a women isn't that difficult but getting the ones I what seems to be difficult.

OK, getting to my point of needing advice and direction, I was wondering if you could talk about on-line dating and some tips that you would recommend about putting out the bait and getting a bite and getting the date and hooking them (sorry for using fishing analogy).

It is easier to get someone to respond to a profile (at least I think) on a dating site and communicate via email and then on the phone and finally meet. It is a long process, but seems easier than not knowing anything about a person and just approaching them in public. Seems like most are attracted to a nice guy (and for the most part I am) and most women say they meet a lot of creeps and welcome a nice guy. I don't just want to be that nice guy though, so how do you balance that as being naughty and nice?

Not sure if I made much sense babbling, but would like to hear some of your suggestions to people who do the on-line dating thing.

Look forward to reading your articles and emails and your response to this if you get time.

Mark

JA: Thanks for the email, Mark. You bring up several points I'd like to address. The first one has to do with getting too excited when you meet a woman you're really attracted to, and you wind up pushing her away. The way to get around this is to understand that when you meet a woman, any woman, you need to focus on creating attraction and not on how attractive she is. So as soon as you feel a rush of excitement around a woman, what you need to do is say to yourself, "OK, I'm attracted to her, now onto the next step in the attraction process." When you focus on the process instead of the outcome, you'll push aside your excitement and get the results you desire.

Online dating and attracting women in person are both separate skills to be mastered. Things can, however, happen very fast online once you've put up a well written profile. You can write to a lot of women in a short amount of time, and literally be talking to one 30 minutes after you've written her, with a meeting set up for the next day. The advantage of writing women online is, you have tremendous leverage, the ability to connect with women on a mass level.

As far as women wanting a "nice guy," you have to realize that what you think is a "nice guy" and what a woman defines as a nice guy she wants to date are two totally separate things. If women really wanted nice guys as we define them, then they'd date them instead of dating jerks and creeps and saying they want a nice guy. You must pay attention to behavior and not words.

What women want is a man with a strong sense of personal authority, in addition to a fun, playful, naughty side. He has a strong, calming presence, and takes the lead wherever they go. That's what women want, and when a woman says she wants a "nice guy," that's what she means.

On with the fun--

-John Alanis
The King of Let 'em Come to You

PS ired of letting other people control your outcomes in life and with women? Put a stop to it right now with my Ultimate Unlimited Lifetime of Power and Success with Women System, and step up to the Big Winners Circle-- go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now before this website is removed.

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Posted by john at 10:58 AM