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April 29, 2006

A must read before and after story

Dear friends and subscribers,

I recently received a sequence of emails from a man who bought my system, and turned out to be a real doer. He had a dire situation on his hands (his wife of 24 years had left him for another guy), and wanted my advice on how to fix it. I gave him one simple strategy to follow, and the results speak for themselves. What I'm going to do is reprint the entire sequence of events, so you can act accordingly if you're ever faced with the same situation; also I have some important, final advice for him as well.

Here's his first email, and my advice:

Hi John

I have read your advertisement on the net and am considering purchasing. However I would like to explain my circumstance and get your thoughts.

I am 49 years old and married to a woman 8 years younger. We have been married for 24 years. I absolutely adore her. Over the last 2 years my work has been going through another restructuring and with the knowledge I would be made redundant. This placed a lot of stress on us. Inadvertently I was pushing her away because of this. To cope with the stress she started drinking wine heavily, which I didn't like which only made it worse.

Finally 2 months ago she left me for someone else. What I didn't know was he was chasing her and she finally gave into him as I wasn't there for her. Apparently she was having an affair with him for about a year.

We are still on good terms even though it is tearing me apart knowing she is with someone else. For the 1st month I kept hounding her to come back, and she did finally for 3 days and then left again.

She keeps saying she loves him and he loves her, but also keeps asking me "do you really think he doesn't love me" To help me move on I finally told her I wanted her to be happy and if he makes her happy then I will accept it. Of course I won't but said it anyway.

She keeps saying she still cares for me and worries about me. Also she says every time we talk she has doubts. She has said she wants to be with him but wants to be sure she can still worry about me without sending mixed messages. I said ok, but it is still ripping me apart.

Her sister has told me she thinks it is just guilt and she feels trapped

Do you think I should move on or is there still hope?

Your thoughts will be most appreciated

Regards

G. H.

JA Thanks for writing in. Yes, I would say there is still hope, but you need to act fast. She's looking to you to define authority for her, and provide strength and comfort, and from what you've written you're not doing it. You're trying to be "nice" to her, hoping she will come back and she's picking up on it, sensing you're allowing her to define the authority. Stop that right now, and tell her that either she's with you, or she's gone completely and good luck with the jerk. Don't be mean or abusive, just be matter of fact, and let her know you can and will replace her ASAP. She's looking for strength and comfort--the instant you provide that need for her, her behavior will change.

Obviously there's a lot more to this subject-- the good news is, I cover the subject of "keeping her once you have her" step by step in my Ultimate Lifetime Power and Success with Women System--for details, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm at once.

Here's his second email, and my "final advice" to him:

John--

Thanks for the advice.

I let her know that it is either him or me. It shocked her that I would look for someone else. She told me she would call that evening, which she did. She told me that she had left him, couldn't commit to him, couldn't stop thinking about me and needed a week to get her head straight.

I told her I would give her that time. 5 minutes later I rang to talk about the kids birthdays. We talked and she didn't want to get off the phone. Eventually it got quite sexual when all of a sudden she asked me to come and get her. I told her no she needed the time by her self. She then begged me to go get her. So I went down to get her. We came back to my place and talked awhile.

Eventually it got to sex and it was the best it has ever been. We talked some more and then back to the sex which was real amazing. I then took her back. She said she would ring me the same time the next evening. Well she ended up ringing 4 times the next day and begged me to go get her again that night. For both of us it is like we are teenagers again and dating.

You were absolutely right that she was looking for me to take control. Now that I have it is amazing. I have been teasing her that I have a girlfriend and it has been driving her wild that I would have someone else.

We had forgotten what it was like in the beginning and now it is just the 2 of us it is a whole new beginning.

Regards

GH

JA: GH, thanks for the email, and great job on implementing my advice--the hallmark of a true doer. Sometimes all it takes is one small tweak to create massive attraction, much as you did in this situation. Here's one very important thing to keep in mind, however: if you want to hold her attraction, you must keep acting the way you are now, taking charge and defining authority for her. If you regress, and go back to the old ways, she'll be off to find a guy who'll define authority for her, especially since you've just
given her a fresh taste of it.

Here's some good news, though: as you become more and more comfortable with being in charge for her, you'll find this "I don't take crap, and I command respect" attitude will carry over into other areas of your life. You'll find you'll get the results you want much easier, and people will respect and defer to you. Obviously this is not an abusive attitude, simply the outward manifestation of a strong self image--you'll be delighted to find people will gravitate towards you, simply because this kind of confidence is magnetic.

Again, congratulations for investing in my materials, taking action, and getting results. I hereby declare you a True Doer!

On with the fun...


-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Want to get results just like this man did? Well then, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now and get your hands on the exact same information he's gotten!

Posted by john at 04:54 PM

How to get good at attraction, fast

Hey guys,

I've said many times that attraction is a skill, not a talent, something any man can master when he puts his mind to it. And from the feedback I get from you guys, that has proven to be true. But, the question continually comes up, "how can I master this skill, fast?"

It's a good question--the more time you spend on each component of a skill, the faster you will master it.

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When it comes to attraction, there are ample opportunities to approach women and person, or have them approach you via methods I teach (see http://www.effortlesscommunication.com/enter.htm ). But, if you're just starting out, it can be hard to master the skill of the "first meeting." That's when you meet her for the first time after your initial introduction (others call this the "first date.")

This meeting is absolutely critical because she's evaluating you to see if you're the attractive guy she thought you were. Screw it up, and your done, do it right and you'll have plenty of future meetings.

One of the best ways to develop the skill of creating attraction face to face in first meeting situation is via "Speed Dating." You've probably heard of it, maybe even gone to one. It's where they take 10 guys and 10 women (maybe more, depending on the sponsor), and then each guy gets 5 minutes with each woman before moving onto the next. If she likes you, they'll let you know after the event. If she REALLY likes you, she'll hang around after the event to spend time with you.

This is a great venue for developing the skill of rapidly creating attraction face to face. Because you only have 5 minutes, you have to think and act fast. Because you have a lot of different women to speak with, you can calibrate and get better with each woman.

Since these things happen all the time, you can pretty much go ever week--but I doubt you'll need to. See, when you have the opportunity to talk to a lot of women in a short amount of time, with the goal that you're building a skill, you'll find that you get really good, really fast.

That skill translates into attracting women in general, and when you have the skill to create attraction in under 5 minutes, that's when the fun really begins.

On with the fun--

-John Alanis
The King of Let 'em Come to You

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now before it's too late!

Posted by john at 10:29 AM