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September 17, 2006

Are you lonely and missing out?

Dear friends and subscribers,

Do you know how great it feels to have a wonderful woman in your life? One who truly believes in you, and cares for you when everyone else has lost faith? One who gives you certainty, one who makes every day brighter? The feeling is indescribable. If you're not with a woman who makes you feel this way, you're missing out.

To discover the hidden secrets of how to welcome a woman like this into your life, go to: http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm

On with the fun...

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Don't make her wait any longer... she's out there, waiting for you... http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm

Posted by john at 04:21 PM

The true meaning of words with women

Hey guys,

Many times I'll write about a particular saying I've successfully used to create attraction, and I'll get a lot of "that won't work with me because..." emails from both men and women. The reason I get these is because they are looking at the words outside of the context (the "frame" for all you NLP guys) of the interaction. To understand the true effect of the words, you must understand the frame (the set of rules governing the interaction).

Here's an email I received below about this topic, and my response

A whole new approach to dating, women, and relationships that allows me to choose my own relationships with women, anytime, anyplace, anywhere, devoid of all heartbreak or misery, and I'm convinced any man can copy what I'm doing, no matter your looks, age, or income. Why would any sane man reveal these secrets if they were true? To discover the answer go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Hi John,

A short note from one of your lady readers.

How attracted would *you* be to a woman who accepted a statement like that, then started to pursue you? I'm guessing you'd love it, and for you she'd be a great candidate for hanging out, spending time - but not marriage.

When I read "oh no, I don't date. This isn't dating, this is discovery. I get to discover if I like you or not!" I think of a self-involved man. My response would be, "And I get to discover whether you can care about anyone other than yourself or not. (Then, standing up,) A pleasure to meet you. Thanks for the coffee."

What turns me off is not the fact that it's not a date (although I am asked to coffee much more often than on date, so asking me to coffee wouldn't make you stand out, btw), but the self-involved perspective of the speaker.



JA: When you read words in print, they give you a totally different meaning than when you hear them in person in the context of the interaction, the tonality of the words and the non-verbal communication behind them.

If I say that to you in a haughty, self absorbed tone, it's a big turn off. BUT... if I say them to you after 15 minutes of fun flirting back and forth, coupled with some touching, and I say them to you in a fun, playful, somewhat naughty manner, than your reaction will be totally different. Why? Because the frame of attraction has already been set, and anything said or done within that frame reinforces it. I know this because I've used those exact words hundreds of times in the PROPER CONTEXT with some very intelligent, beautiful women, and the result is always the same--they look forward to the discovery.

As far as "standing out" and going to coffee an attractive man will always stand out--it's the feeling of attraction that makes the difference, not the destination. If the choice is between a man who is boring as dirt taking you to the most exclusive restaurant in town, a place you love to go, or a man you have incredible chemistry with taking you to McDonald's, "chemistry" wins out all the time.

Now, understand that when you read a description of an interaction in print, you react much differently than you do when you're "in" the interaction. When you're reading about an interaction, you are consciously evaluating it--when you're "in" the interaction, you're reacting unconsciously. That's why every client of every good salesman always says, "oh, those sales techniques would never work on me," not making the connection that those "techniques" are the reason he became a client in the first place.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and attract desirable women your friends think are out of reach? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 10:18 AM