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December 23, 2006

Lost attraction secrets revealed-- finally

There was a time when men didn't have any trouble attracting women- -they knew exactly what to say, and what to do. But then things changed--society decided that these attraction secrets were somehow "bad," and they began to disappear.

After many years, women discovered they didn't like this at all- -they wanted the "real men" they had known, the men that made them feel attraction. But these men were now few and far between.

Luckily, I recently discovered these "lost attraction secrets," and, for the first time I will be teaching them live and in person to a select few men, men who will be superior to their peers. To discover if you'll be one of the select few to get in on these secrets, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/event_reg.htm to find out...

On with the fun...


-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS I will be demonstrating these "lost attraction secrets" with real, live women. For details, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/event_reg.htm now.

Posted by john at 04:18 PM

What has this man done wrong?

One of the most important things in not only creating attraction, but sustaining it is knowing which behaviors to engage in, and which behaviors to avoid. In fact, many men ruin a potentially great relationship because they initially attract a woman, but the lapse into attraction killing behavior.

I recently received an email from a man that describes exactly that situation. What I'm going to do today is break down what he did right, and then what he did wrong. As you'll see, if he knew what behaviors to avoid, the woman he talks about would still be attracted to him.

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**********************

John-

I'm in college and I met this really hot girl three months ago. I used your pointers to attract her and they worked like a charm. We went on a couple of unoffical dates and messed around a little bit. I really began to like her and I told her that I did. I think that might have been my first mistake.

Let me just add this as well, she is a year and a half older than me and her parents would never agree to me dating her (at this time at least). She said she just wanted us to be friends with benefits. I got in an argument with her about it but soon wished I hadn't. She stopped talking to me and hanging around me.

I called her almost everyday to try to get her to talk to me again. I think I came off as being desperate. This would seem to be the case since I've never had the chance to go out with a girl that is as hot as she is. I messed up real bad. She is talking to some other guys now and I feel like she just used me.

How can I get her back and attract her again? What should I do to impress her and show her that I'm not desperate and that I could have any girl I want? I want her and I to have the relationship that you had with those three girls that went off and dated other guys but came back to you. What should I tell her? Can you help me?

Sincerely

A. B.

JA: Thanks for the email, A.B.--this is a really valuable email for the guys on this list, even if the outcome wasn't what you wanted.
First off, congratulations for taking action and creating initial attraction--that's an important first step in mastering the attraction process.

However, after creating attraction, there are several things you did to kill, things that most guys wind up doing.

First off, you made the HUGE mistake of "confessing your feelings" to her. That's the best, fastest, easiest way to kill attraction. Unfortunately, we as men, are taught that "telling her how we feel" is what women want. We see it on TV and in all the movies--the man confesses his feelings, the woman responds in kind and they live happily ever after.

That's not how it works in the real world, though, and the media has done men a huge disservice by portraying attraction in that way. See, women love mystery, intrigue, and suspense, and if you confess your feelings for her, you're finished--it kills the attraction.

Secondly, you argued with her. Bad thing, real bad thing. Arguing kills authority, and that kills attraction. Never, ever argue with a woman.

Thirdly, you called her every day, and you're right, you came off as desperate, another prime attraction killer. Now she's put you in the category as just another waldo, and that's real hard to get out of.

However, we're not done yet. You're viewing her as the prize when you say you "haven't gone out with a girl as hot as her" and she can sense that you're coming from a place of scarcity. You want to impress her, instead of her impressing you--that's another loss of authority. The right internal attitude is, "there are lots of hot girls out there, but few men that can create attraction--I'm the prize, not her."

Guess what? There's something else, too. When you say, "I feel used," you're replacing the responsibility on her, not you, meaning you're giving control of the relationship to her. She didn't "use" you, you simply defaulted to some attraction killing behavior, and she did what ALL women do when that happens--start looking for a man who will make her feel attraction.

Here's the truth: there's probably not too much you can do right now to get this woman back--you've engaged in a lot of attraction killing behavior with her. Plus, if you're in college, most women are NOT looking for a relationship... they want to have fun while they're young. You've got to keep this in mind when dealing with women in your age group.

Here's what you need to do: forget about this one for now, and learn the lessons about why she left (i.e. read over what I just said about attraction killing behavior). Then go out and create attraction with an even hotter woman--you know how to do that. Then, simply avoid attraction killing behavior and soon enough you'll have yourself a girlfriend who will eventually confess her feelings to YOU.

Will the other one come back? Maybe, maybe not. You may find you don't want her, that you've found another, better one. Or she might see you attracting other women, without any attachments to her, and come back to see if you've "manned up." It happens, but I wouldn't count on it. Learn the lessons from this one, and apply them to future women--there are plenty to choose from, especially in college.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to step up to the Big Leagues and live a lifetime of power, success and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now before this
website is removed.

Posted by john at 10:02 AM