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March 31, 2008

How to investigate a woman

Hey guys,

One of the most important (and most overlooked) parts of attraction is qualification. Before you decide to spend time with any woman, you must qualify her, and the best way to do that is by asking the right questions.

I received a question on this very topic recently, and it, and my answers are below.

Dear John,

I am one of those guys who usually wants to know everything, especially when it comes to dating. So I have a question for you: Is there a way that I can use to learn as much as I possibly can about a certain woman, girl, or group of females before starting any relationships? Can I learn as much as I can even before I get just one person's attention? I appreciate your help and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Sincerely,

Jason C.

JA: Thanks for the great question Jason--you certainly have the right mindset to start with. Those who set out to learn everything about a particular subject in the shortest amount of time usually master it.

The answer to your question is this: when you first start talking to a woman (any woman), you want to begin to listen for recurring patterns and themes that uncover what's called her "map and model of the world." What this will tell you is how she responds to future events, both good and bad.

If, for example, she tells you three stories about three separate boyfriends, and talks about how she used to get in screaming fights with all of them, then it's a good bet she's going to get in one with you eventually. So, what you want to do is ask "elicitation questions" that get her to reveal details about herself, questions like, "what's the most fun you've ever had..." All these questions do is get her to talk about herself, and all you have to do is listen.

This process in and of itself can actually create attraction because you're one of the few guys she'll ever meet who is one, genuinely interested in her as a person, and two, a guy who listens intently to what she has to say.

Ask the right questions, and a woman will tell you everything about herself you'd ever want to know... and I mean everything!

Oh, and if you have questions for me, please send them to questions@johnalanis.com

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 03:54 PM | Comments (0)

March 30, 2008

Confess your feelings… or keep ‘em guessing?

Hey guys,

A few days ago I was talking with a female friend of mine regarding some of the dates she'd been on lately. Like many women, she was griping about how unattractive (and wimpy) most men are today.

Her biggest complaint, however, had to do with what I call "the second date confession of feelings." Here's how it goes...

A guy meets a woman, she's attracted to him (usually by dumb luck, not any skill on his part), they go out, and she's interested in seeing him again. He thinks to himself, "this it--I've finally met the girl of my dreams... a woman who actually likes me."

Thinking that this is the only woman in the world for him, he does what he sees in every chick flick and TV show: he shows up for the second meeting, and "confesses his feelings" to her, expecting to get the same reaction he sees on TV.

He does not--and in fact discovers that TV-land is dead wrong about attraction. Usually he gets an awkward moment and she says, "That's nice" or nothing at all. Then he never hears from her again.

Why is this? Because there's no mystery, intrigue, excitement or authority. He's throwing himself at her feet begging her to "pick me, pick me." This is a complete turnoff for women, but unfortunately a common experience.

That's what my friend told me. She said, "I'm sick of all these sensitive nice guys. I know they mean well, but there's just no chemistry there. I'd just like to meet a man who'll smack me on the ass, and call me a biy-atch."

What she's saying is she wants to meet a naughty, fun, self assured man with a strong sense of personal authority, one who will keep her guessing and add some excitement to her life. She's tired of the same old stuff over and over. Give her what she wants, and she'll give you what she wants.

Now, does that mean you never tell a woman how you feel about her? Of course not. When you've been together for awhile, appear to be a good match, and are obviously heading towards a relationship, then it is very important you tell her how you feel--in a strong, manly way, of course. But don't do it after you've just met her--it's the best way to guarantee you'll never see her again.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:54 PM | Comments (0)

March 29, 2008

King for a day, fool for a lifetime

Hey guys,

I have an acquaintance who, whenever I see him, tells me the same story over and over. It's about how he picked up a gorgeous woman at a bar and took her home. One time. And only one time.

Why does he keep telling me this story? Because since then, he hasn't done anything with women at all. No adventure partners, no girlfriend, no wife, not even any female friends. He's a one hit wonder, and that's all he'll ever be.

Why? Because he never really developed the skills to create attraction on a consistent, predictable basis. He literally, "got lucky" once, and is waiting to "get lucky" again. In short, he's lazy. He spends his time bragging about the past instead of taking action for a better future.

One of my favorite sayings is this: "if you're not winning, you suck." What that means is, if you're not consistently taking action, and getting the results you want, then you're not building the necessary skills.

That requires doing something fewer and fewer people are willing to do: work. If you want results, you have to put in some work. Men who succeed on a regular basis with women (whether that means dating multiple women or having a relationship with the one they choose) don't do so by luck, they do so by design and hard work.

If you're willing to work, willing to spend just a bit of time to master the relatively easy skills of attraction, you'll be a consistent winner. If not, you'll be like my friend, reliving his one victory every night while he goes home alone. When you think about it like that, the work is pretty much worth the results.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to step up to the Big Leagues and lead a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

PPS Here's how women will approach you first for a date no matter your looks, age or income: see www.effortlesscommunication.com/enter.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:50 PM | Comments (0)

March 28, 2008

You can look, but you can’t touch

Hey guys,

Recently I received an email from a man saying that he'd been looking at a lady who worked near his office for over a month, but she wouldn't pay any attention to him.

He even said he "tried to talk to her," but she paid no attention to him.

I know a lot of guys who are in this situation, guys who see a woman they're attracted to, yet wonder why she doesn't notice them.

The answer is simple: she doesn't notice you because you don't give her a reason to notice you. One of the most powerful things I ever learned when it comes to succeeding in business is this: you have to have a "unique selling proposition"--a USP.

A USP answers the following question: "why should I do business with you as opposed to doing business with someone else, or doing nothing at all?"

The same thing applies to attracting women: you need to have an "attraction USP," you need to answer the question, "why should she spend time with me as opposed to spending time with other guys, spending time with her friends, or doing nothing at all?"

When you have a good answer to that question (and it's something you NEED to think about), you will attract women on demand, effortlessly, without trying.

When you don't, you'll keep doing the same old thing and getting the same old result: looking, but not touching.

So, sit down and figure out the answer to the questions: just why should a woman spend time with as opposed to any other man, or doing nothing at all? Here's a hint to the answer: because you know how to make her feel a wonderful sense of attraction.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you a victim of the 5 myths of attracting women? If so, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:27 PM | Comments (0)

March 27, 2008

The amazing secret of massive action

Hey guys,

Every now and then I get a really good question from a guy who's examining his life, and not satisfied with where he's at, not only with women, but in all phases of his life.

I like such questions because those are usually the prelude to massive action, leading to massive success. Read the question below and my answer--if you're in the same situation, you'll find it massively useful.

Hello John,

My name is JZ, and I'm a 27 year old man from Texas. I've been a doer's club member for at least a year and ordered your stuff a while ago.

But, I'm just now finish listening all of your deluxe cds from the intro to the end. It was kinda odd when you said in the 1st CD about how people order stuff and don't even open it and put it to use. I was that guy till last week. I bought your stuff because I was and still am frustrated with my outcomes with women. I've never had a REAL relationship but I've been on a few "dates" here and there in the past but I've gotten NOWHERE with them as far success in the bedroom and out of the bedroom.

Well anyway I have a concern after listening to the whole product.

After listening to the whole thing I basically have a question. What If you as a man are not where you want to be in life as far as living situation, career, education and etc? I'm a man that's at the crossroads so to say in my life and want to know as far as attracting women should it be a good idea in your opinion to pursue women BEFORE you really made it in life? I mean what are your thoughts on this?

JZ

JA: Thanks for the email, JZ and glad to hear you're finally in the process of taking action. This is a good question, because many men wrestle with it, wanting to know if they should wait to attract desirable women until they're more successful, or if they should start now.

Here's the answer: if you're not where you want to be in life (financially, healthwise, and relationship wise), then you should take massive action on all fronts at the same time, including attracting desirable women. Successful people never do things sequentially, we always do them in parallel.

What you will discover is this: each success in one area feeds into other areas. For example, let's say you meet a great woman, and feel really good because of it. When you take that good feeling into your career or business, you find you get a lot more done, and wind up succeeding there too.

Attraction is attraction is attraction, and the more you engage in it, the more you will succeed in all areas of your life. So, my advice to you is take action right now on getting to where you want to be, and that includes attracting women.

This leads to a balance in your life, and keeps you energized. I spend equal time each day on health, business, relationships, and self improvement and that keeps me fresh and excited for each one. If I were to focus on only one, I'd get bored and burn out.

So, take massive action in your life starting right now, and you'll get massive results... in a hurry.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Forbidden attraction secrets the girlie men in the media don't want you to know: to discover them, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)

March 26, 2008

Do women really want this?

Hey guys,

In today's media climate many men see women enjoying a particular song or tv show and think that they want men to act like they do in the song or on tv.

This is a dangerous mistake, and it often leaves many men frustrated. Read the email below I recently received regarding just that, and my rather interesting answer...

John,

Great email, thanks! I have a bit of a confusion that I want to ask you to please address. For instance in this email you mention how "the moronic song "Beautiful" by "a whiner named James Blunt" was part of your frustration.

Since you're obviously identifying this song as one of those whiner songs by the type of man a woman wouldn't be attracted to, I want to ask you how or why is it that women would say that they're so attracted to him for that song?

I remember being in a car full of girls when that song first came out and how they were all singing along and melting over the guy!

Please give your thoughts on what's going on there. I'm a little confused.

Thanks,
Nelson

JA: Thanks for the email, Nelson--that's a great question. Don't confuse how women will react to a song with how women will react to a man. If Mr. Blunt were to act in person as he does in the song, women would have a strange reaction to him. They'd want to meet him due to his celebrity status, but after spending a few hours with him, they'd want to be somewhere, anywhere. Now, I have no idea if Blunt actually behaves in person as he does in that song, but many men unfortunately do and are floored when women just are not attracted to them.

When heavy metal ruled in the 80's, you'd routinely hear women say, "Oh, I can't stand any of that heavy metal music," yet they were irresistibly drawn to the men who played that kind of music and lived it (for better and worse). Vince Neil, Blackie Lawless, Stephen Pierce, and just about every other front man had women lined up ten deep to spend time with them, although they said they hated the music.

So, the lesson is this: don't confuse what women listen to with what they want in a man They may listen to music to feel vicarious emotions, but women like men because men make them feel comfort, protection, security, and attraction, something music will not do.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to claim an unfair advantage over other men when it comes to attracting desirable women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/kingskeys.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:35 PM | Comments (0)

March 25, 2008

Busted again

Hey guys,

Seems like those "public officials," just can't seem to keep their pants on in public. Now, we have the mayor of Detroit who is in trouble for having an "inappropriate relationship" with one of his subordinates, and the sharks are circling.

What did him in? "Explicit" text messages exchanged between him and the woman he was, well, doing explicit things with.

Here's the kicker: in order to get to the few damning text messages, newspaper reporters (who apparently have no one to send explicit text messages to) sifted through 14,000 of them to find the few naughty ones.

Lookit, Big Brother is here--1984 may be 24 years too late, but it's here in the form of electronic media that stays around, and too many reporters with not enough stories.

So, if you're in any way, shape or form a "public figure," (and any local business owner can become one), you'd better be very, very careful. Emails, text messages, pictures, and online videos (taken by cell phones) stay around forever and can come back to bite you in the butt.

Yes, they can be very powerful tools to attract women, but you must use them very carefully. They are not private, although they appear to be. Electronic transmissions can be used in court, and I don't just mean criminal proceeding: many dallying husbands have been relieved of their cash due to text messages and emails they sent their mistress, thinking no one would ever find out.

The brave new world is here, and you'd better be darn careful. However, if there's a silver lining on the horizon it's this: soon enough there's going to be so much video, audio, and electronic media that everyone's going to have something on somebody so what used to be scandalous and titillating will one day become the norm.

But until that day happens, be very, very careful how you use electronic media for anything.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Finally ready to attract the womanyou're your dreams? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:47 PM | Comments (0)

March 24, 2008

The unshakable man

Hey guys,

One of my favorite recurring themes in the Sopranos is Tony's question, "Whatever happened to Gary Cooper, the strong, silent type?"

What he really means is, why are there so many guys that start whining and moaning whenever someone says something that can be construed as mean or hurtful?

One of the biggest issues women have with men today is they never know what they're going to get when they say something to a man. One day he could laugh, one day he could start an argument, one day he could whine, and who knows what happens the next day.

If you turn on the TV, all you see is a bunch of girlie men who constantly worry that they're girlfriend is "disrespecting them," or they start arguments over a perceived slight or they whine because their boss said something mean to them.

If you want to know a huge secret to attracting women, it's this: turn yourself into an "unshakable man." What that means is this: no matter what a woman says to you, don't react in a negative manner. Ever. It clouds your judgment and it makes her fearful of what you're going to do or say next.

Women look to men for emotional strength, not weakness. When a "man" whines because his boss hurt his feelings, he's displaying emotional weakness. Now, this does not mean that a man is unemotional. Not at all. What it means is, he deals with the slings and arrows of the day as they come to him while preserving his emotional strength.

Instead of "dumping" on the women he knows, or using them as a therapist, he provides emotional strength and comfort for her.

Adopt the attitude of the unshakable man, and you'll soon discover plenty of women who'd love to spend time with that rarest of rare things in this day and age of the wuss: a strong man.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Discover secrets about attraction other men will never know... go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover them.

Posted by john at 02:57 PM | Comments (0)

March 23, 2008

The instant bonding secret

Hey guys,

Today I'm going to reveal an important part of what I now call the Women Approach You Formula. Over the years, I've been able to codify my attraction secrets into one complete formula, made up of several parts, and over the next few weeks I'm going to be talking about some of those parts.

What I want to talk to you about today is what I call "instant bonding." This is a great way to make a woman feel like she's known you a long time, as well as to deepen her attraction with her.

What you want to do is find common, shared experiences, things you both really enjoyed, then relive the moments with her. This creates an instant bond because it makes you both feel like you shared moments from the past together.

A great way to do this is to play (or even mention) a song from the past that was popular when she was in high school or college. Why that time period? Because often that's where people pull their fondest memories from. If someone has been working for 10 years straight, odds are most of those ten years are boring as hell, so it does no good to remind them of that.

But when you bring up a memory from her formative years, that's different. College and high school are fun, exhilarating times, situations that will never be repeated again. When you bring up memories from that time (and you can do so by mentioning a popular, cool song from that time period), a flood of great emotions usually comes back, and you experience them together.

This creates a bond of shared experience, leading directly to attraction. It's much different from what she experiences with other guys, and leads to the effect people refer to as "hitting it off."

Once you have a bond, then you can move onto other things... but we'll talk about those in future episodes.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Discover secrets about attraction other men will never know... go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover them.

Posted by john at 01:57 AM | Comments (0)

March 22, 2008

The truth about women and gifts

Hey guys,

One thing of the most misunderstood areas of attraction is gift giving. Some men try to buy a woman's affections by giving her gifts. Other men refuse to buy a woman anything, thinking it will turn them into a nice guy.

Both are wrong. There is somewhat of a science to giving women gifts, and once you understand the attraction dynamic in place, you'll know when and why to give the women in your life gifts, and when not to. I got a great question on this topic, and it's below, along with my answer.

Dear John,

I love all of your advice. It seems to be very helpful. With my one year anniversary of being with my girlfriend coming up I feel stumped on what to buy. I would much rather do something fun and creative with my girl, instead of just buying something.

I was curious if you had any ideas, nothing too serious... just something interesting and fun and then the usual dinner. Also you talk about having personal authority and not being too nice, but where do you draw the line.

Is it not okay to surprise women at work with flowers and candy on Valentines day or other special occasions? This is something a "nice guy" would do. I appreciate your help

SJ

JA: Thanks for the email, SJ, you bring up some very good questions. There is an important distinction to be drawn between creating initial attraction, and sustaining that attraction once you're in a relationship.

When you're initially creating attraction with a woman, buying gifts or giving compliments with the underlying mindset of "if I buy her this, she'll like me" is a bad idea and an instant attraction killer.

However, when you're in a relationship and she obviously likes you, then giving her gifts and compliments is a whole different animal. One of the best ways to sustain attraction long term with a woman is to demonstrate your appreciation for her on a regular basis. A gift or compliment that shows appreciation is a great way to do this, and I highly encourage it (yes, even flowers delivered to her office on Valentine's Day).

Taking action and giving her a gift or creating an experience you'll know she'll appreciate is actually a demonstration of personal authority, not a loss of it. An important leadership trait is to let your subordinates clearly know you appreciate them, and this is in the same vein.

As far as what to do for her, the best advice I can give you is this: find out what's most important to her (by asking), then create that experience for her. That's something no man has done for her before, and she'll never forget it.

Thanks for the great email, SJ--always good to hear from the men on my list who are already in relationships and recognize the importance of mastering the skill of sustaining attraction.

Oh, if you have any questions or comments, send them to questions@johnalanis.com and I'll see if I can answer them in an upcoming email.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Before you can sustain attraction, you must learn how to create it--the good news is, it's much easier than you think. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover how.

Posted by john at 01:52 AM | Comments (0)

March 21, 2008

Waah, she kicked me in the balls, and then she…

Hey guys,

Yesterday I was walking back from getting the mail, when I saw a police car parked in the middle of the street. I took a quick look around to see if they were busting anybody, but it turns out they were responding to a domestic dispute.

How did I know? Because I heard a male voice loudly yelling at the police officer, telling him, "she kicked me in the balls, and then I pushed her in the back to get her away from me, then she called you guys..."

I didn't stick around long enough to see if they were going to take this guy downtown, and to be truthful I have no idea what happened. Maybe he's telling the truth, maybe not.

A crime may or may not have been committed, but there was one thing that was, and that was an act of stupidity on that guy's part.

Why? Because he allowed himself to get in an escalating situation, and did something that provoked the woman to call the cops. No matter who was right or wrong, he screwed up by allowing a situation to spin out of control.

I haven't had even a minor argument with a woman in the past ten years (or longer), and I can't ever remember a time when I was in a situation that got out of control. Why? Because it's so damn easy to de-escalate a situation like that.

First off, if you meet a woman who is prone to tantrums, prone to starting fights, and prone to conflict, then you immediately remove her from you life. Period. You just don't see her again.

Secondly, if you allow anyone to get an emotional rise out of you, you're allowing them to control your emotions, your reactions, and your behavior. If someone says something to you that you don't like, just ignore them--they're not qualified to comment on your, and are undeserving of even a moment of your time. Why give it to them? They'll just steal more when they get the desired response.

Thirdly, the consequences of escalating an argument or disagreement are ALWAYS bad. Nothing good will come of it. Just refuse to engage, then get that person out of your life if they're prone to starting conflicts with you.

You'd think this would be common sense, but it ain't. Most people have no control over their emotions, their behaviors, or their outcomes.

Just make sure you're not one of them.

On with the fun--

-John Alanis

The King of Let 'em Come to You

PS Don't be a man who creates conflict, be a man who creates attraction. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover how.

Posted by john at 04:56 PM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2008

The magic of pictures

Hey guys,

One of the most powerful items in your attraction toolbox are pictures of you. Done correctly they can position you as a fun, exciting, "dangerous" man, and get women to look forward to meeting you in person.

I got a great question today from Ray regarding photos, so I'm going to take a bit of time to answer it. Read both the question and answer carefully as there are some important items here.

John,

I am gobbling up your Deluxe program I just received. Some of your other products seem interesting, too. We'll see how this works for me.

I am having a professional photo taken for online dating sites. I also want to use one marketing as president of my company. Should I use the same pic with a big smile, or have another taken with a more conservative look, suit, etc?

So far so good. Please drop me a quick line, and I'll give you feedback on how the system is working.

Thanks,

Ray

JA: Thanks for the email, Ray, and congratulations on taking action and getting your hands on good information. I'll be interested to see how YOU make IT work for YOU! But, I suspect you'll do just fine, and this is a very good question you bring up.

Here's what you should do: while you're spending the time getting the pictures taken, have several different ones with several different expressions and outfits taken at the same time. Then test them to see which one works the best. While I've found that a great smile works for me, you never know until you test, plus you can use the others on your online profile so women can see you have a serious side as well.

If you want to know which one is best to lead with, show them to your female friends, and ask them which one they like best. Usually they'll all pick the same one, and that's the best one to lead with.

Thanks for the great question, Ray, and I look forward to hearing about your future successes!

Oh, if you have any questions or comments, send them to questions@johnalanis.com and I'll see if I can answer them in an upcoming email.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Don't let another man take the woman you're interested in--make sure you always have the upper hand. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover how.

Posted by john at 05:04 PM | Comments (0)

March 19, 2008

What’s the matter with men today?

Hey guys,

Everywhere I turn it seems I run into whiney, self absorbed emotionally needy "men," who start bawling every time their feelings get hurt or they feel disrespected.

I see it on TV, I hear it from my the women in my life (every woman I talk to has the same story about today's girlie men), and I hear about it from the few MEN I talk with on a regular basis.

What's producing men like this? I can't say for sure, but I think a lot of it has to do with being born into prosperity, and never having to work for anything. They're used to having things handed to them, and get frightened at the prospect of work.

While it does drive me crazy, I will be the first to admit it produces a huge opportunity for men who act like, well, men. Men who act like men are becoming more and more rare, and when you're one of them, women will literally hunt you down.

Now, when I say act like men, I don't mean guys who swill beer, scream at the TV, and hoot and holler like fools.

I mean men who take the lead, take responsibility for their actions, have a strong work ethic, appreciate the financial and emotional rewards of hard one achievement, are not easily fazed and exhibit grace under pressure.

I mean men who have a quick wit, a winning smile, who laugh easily at themselves, and with others. Men who do what they say they're going to do when they say they're going to do it, men who provide comfort, strength, and stability for the women in their lives.

If you do these things, and act like a man, you will never, ever be lonely again. You'll stand out like a beacon in the night... and better yet, the whiney girlie men will drive all the great women right to you.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Act like a real man, attract real women-- go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover how.

Posted by john at 05:00 PM | Comments (0)

March 18, 2008

He was offended by my lifestyle

Hey guys,

A few days ago I got a letter in the mail from a man demanding I remove him from my mailing list. No problem, I'm happy to remove anyone who doesn't want to be on there, so he's been removed.

However, what was amusing to me was this: he said he was a married man, and was offended by my "lifestyle" as detailed in the mail he got.

Now, to get on my mailing list, you have to request to be added. That means reading a long copy postcard or magazine ad, going to the web, and entering your contact information. The initial ad is pretty specific about what I'm offering, so I find it quite funny that he was "un-offended" by the initial ad, but suddenly offended by what else I have to say.

Here's where it gets even better: nowhere do I ever advocate a specific lifestyle. I simply teach attraction, and how men use it is up to them. If you're a marriage 'n kids guys (and want to stay that way), you'd better darn sure know how to sustain initial attraction, and if you're a Rock 'N Roll guy who just wants to meet lots of fun women, you'd better master the skill of attraction as well.

I've met guys like this before at events with their wives in tow. They always tell me how odd it is for any man to "have to learn how to attract women," right in front of their wives, the implication being they know it all.

Invariably their wives corner me when hubby is not around, and ask if I have a product that teaches husbands how to sustain attraction, because they're just not "feeling it" any more. Happens a lot more than you might expect.

The truth is this: no matter what kind of lifestyle you want to lead, you must learn the skill of attraction. You cannot think you know it all just because you already have a wife or girlfriend. Most men who do so are suddenly dumped or divorced out of the blue, even though the warning signs have been there all along.

Mr. Offended has been removed from my list--but that does not exempt him, me, you, or anyone else from the laws of attraction. Learn them and you will have great relationships, ignore them and you put yourself at great peril.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Ready to live a lifestyle other men will envy, maybe even be offended by? Well then, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 03:38 PM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2008

Hard to get, harder to stop

Hey guys,

Ever met a woman who played "hard to get?" Most men have, and it drives them crazy... but only because they don't understand the opportunity in front of them.

Most guys think a woman is teasing them or stringing them along when she does this, but that's not really true at all. In fact, when a woman plays hard to get it, means she's truly interested... but only if you respond the right way.

See, women like a woman who's firmly persistent, a man who doesn't give up at the first sign of adversity. After all, if you give up just because she plays hard to get, you can't really be counted on to come through when things really get tough.

So your mindset when presented with a woman who's playing hard to get is, you're a man who's harder to stop. No matter what she say, no matter what she does, she'll eventually surrender to your firm persistence.

Women like men with the "harder to stop" attitude, because it's so darn rare in this day and age. Most men pack up, and go cry to their therapist because they were "rejected again" by a woman.

Now, I'm most certainly not saying you should desperately chase a woman who's not interested in you. In fact, part of the "harder to stop" mindset goes hand in hand with recognizing when a woman is playing hard to get (you'll know because she'll do subtle things to keep you engaged--when a woman's not attracted to you, she ceases all contact).

But when you do recognize when a woman is playing hard to get, you crank up your "harder to stop" attitude, and let the fun really begin. She'll eventually stop, and you'll both get what you wanted.

Then you'll begin to appreciate a woman who plays hard to get... because it means you're about to have a really, really good time--provided you're harder to stop, that is.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Are you finally ready to control step up to the Big Leagues, and lead a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Well then, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 03:35 PM | Comments (0)

March 16, 2008

Exude the ‘Tude

Hey guys,

Every now and then I'll waste a bit of time on YouTube, watching some of old hard rock and heavy metal videos from the 80's, back when guys in bands actually attracted women.

A lot girlie men in the media today make fun of the "80's look," but what they simply don't get it is, those guys were performers, the last evolution of vaudeville before rock n roll died a miserable and sudden death in 1992.

You see, what drove rock -n roll was the attitude, or the 'Tude for short. It was the brash, in your face, outrageous, let the good times roll attitude that permeated the entire era, and drove the women wild with lust.

If you grew up in that era, you remember the scene--stiletto heels, fish net stockings mini skirts, and yes, big hair. It was a wild and crazy time, and I'm always amused to hear yet another girlie man in the media whine about how "sexed" kids are today.

Guess he wasn't around when Motely Crue, WASP, Ratt and AC/DC thundered onto the stage, and the women went crazy.

Here's the thing to extract from the era, and it's not the look or the clothes: it's the 'Tude. If you watch the metal videos from that era in conjunction with each other, you'll pick up on a vibe, an attitude, a broadcasting of energy that is not present in this day and age of the girlie man.

Guess what? The 'Tude works better today than it ever did, because women aren't used to it. In fact, most younger women haven't felt it in a man, and don't know what it is... but when they do, they know they like it, know that's what's missing from men in this day and age.

So, while you don't have to wear spandex, spray your hair, or rip your jeans, if you just adopt a hint of the 'Tude, and let the ladies experience a little of the feeling of that era, you will have more women around you than you know what to do with.

They may not know why it feels so good to be around you, just that it feels good.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Are you finally ready to control all your outcomes with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 03:30 PM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2008

The man with no apologies

Hey guys,

Apologizing is something that has recently become trendy, both apologizing for some perceived wrong, and apologizing for who you are as a man.

I've never been one for apologies, and have always looked with a skewed eye at people who constantly apologize. Why?

First off, if they apologize a lot it's because they keep creating situations that require it. Many people think it's actually OK to do something they know they shouldn't, then apologize for it, only to go repeat the same thing a few days later.

That's simply another way to get away with bad behavior, and I have no tolerance for it. The best apology is to never repeat the thing you felt you had to apologize for in the first place.

However, the bigger reason why I don't like apologies is because too many men feel compelled by society and the girlie men in the media to apologize for their desires and wants as a man.

Nothing is more pathetic than a man apologizing for being a man, and there's no quicker way than that to turn a woman off.

Clint Eastwood never apologized. Nor did David Niven. Patton did only under great duress, and it was the wrong decision anyways.

So, if you want to be an attractive man, do two things: one, never apologize for who you are. Two, don't do things that require an apology--the best apology is never having to make one in the first place.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Discover how to finally attract the women you desire--go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now!

Posted by john at 03:26 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2008

Do you know 'the rest of the story?'

Hey guys,

When I was a kid I used to love listening to Paul Harvey on the radio, especially his "rest of the story" in the evening. I always had a lot of fun trying to guess who he was talking about--most of the time I would get it, but sometimes I'd be truly surprised when he revealed who he was talking about.

It's important to know the "rest of the story" about people, especially when you're looking at getting into a relationship with someone.

In fact, this is where most guys get in trouble, meeting a woman, feeling that wonderful feeling of attraction, believing what they want to believe about her, then later finding out after the whole thing has blown up that they don't know the rest of the story.

I get a lot of emails from guys offering unsolicited advice about marketing and business. They tell me my emails are too long, too frequent or too hypey. One goofus even said that "you send too many emails, the internet gurus only recommend you send one a week." That's an indication of not knowing the "rest of the story." See, I happen to personally know the true internet gurus (and their numbers) as well as the phonies, and I also get to see the results of how I run my business- I'm privy to the rest of the story.

There's nothing I do in business or in attraction that is indiscriminate--I always seek to find the rest of the story so in the future I can write the "best of the story." Anyone who makes decisions about business or relationships without digging deeper and doing all their due diligence is a fool about to get into big trouble.

So, take it from Paul Harvey--whenever you make an important decision about a relationship, make sure you can say to yourself, "and now you know, the rest of the story." Otherwise you're going to be living the worst of it.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 06:20 AM | Comments (0)

March 13, 2008

Why you should learn “the skill”

Hey guys,

To absolutely no one's surprise, Mark Spitzer resigned as Governor of New York, after getting busted for hiring an escort.

Now, as a married man he should be doing no such thing, but it's always been my opinion that a man should never do any such thing

Why? Because you just don't need to. When you master the art and science of attraction, you never have to do anything that could get you in trouble with the law.

Traveling to a different city, and want to meet a local woman for a fun adventure? You can do that when you learn the skill of attracting desirable women.

Have a free weekend and want to spend it with a hot sexy women? You've got plenty of choice when you learn the skill of attraction.

Have a particular "type" of woman you like... blondes... redheads... fit women... older women... younger women? You can attract the type you want when you learn the skill of attraction.

Ready to attract that special woman for a lifetime relationship? You can do that AND be sure you never settle for one who just showed up, like all your friends do when you learn the skill of attraction.

Attraction IS a skill and it CAN be learned. Learn it, and not only will you stay out of trouble, you'll also lead a life other men will envy.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to learn the skill of attraction? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 06:16 AM | Comments (0)

March 12, 2008

Confess your feelings… or keep ‘em guessing?

Hey guys,

A few days ago I was talking with a female friend of mine regarding some of the dates she'd been on lately. Like many women, she was griping about how unattractive (and wimpy) most men are today.

Her biggest complaint, however, had to do with what I call "the second date confession of feelings." Here's how it goes...

A guy meets a woman, she's attracted to him (usually by dumb luck, not any skill on his part), they go out, and she's interested in seeing him again. He thinks to himself, "this it--I've finally met the girl of my dreams... a woman who actually likes me."

Thinking that this is the only woman in the world for him, he does what he sees in every chick flick and TV show: he shows up for the second meeting, and "confesses his feelings" to her, expecting to get the same reaction he sees on TV.

He does not--and in fact discovers that TV-land is dead wrong about attraction. Usually he gets an awkward moment and she says, "That's nice" or nothing at all. Then he never hears from her again.

Why is this? Because there's no mystery, intrigue, excitement or authority. He's throwing himself at her feet begging her to "pick me, pick me." This is a complete turnoff for women, but unfortunately a common experience.

That's what my friend told me. She said, "I'm sick of all these sensitive nice guys. I know they mean well, but there's just no chemistry there. I'd just like to meet a man who'll smack me on the ass, and call me a biy-atch."

What she's saying is she wants to meet a naughty, fun, self assured man with a strong sense of personal authority, one who will keep her guessing and add some excitement to her life. She's tired of the same old stuff over and over. Give her what she wants, and she'll give you what she wants.

Now, does that mean you never tell a woman how you feel about her? Of course not. When you've been together for awhile, appear to be a good match, and are obviously heading towards a relationship, then it is very important you tell her how you feel--in a strong, manly way, of course. But don't do it after you've just met her--it's the best way to guarantee you'll never see her again.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 01:26 PM | Comments (0)

March 11, 2008

How dumb can they be?

Hey guys,

If you've paid any attention to recent news, you know the soon to be former Governor of New York is in big trouble for hiring hookers. Not only that, but a lot of people are gleefully watching his fall, since he presented himself as a champion of morality, and actually prosecuted several prostitution rings.

Of course there's electronic evidence everywhere--text messages, cell phone records, emails, all kinds of permanent records that prove him guilty as charged.

I've talked about the dangers of using the "new media" in the past, and this is yet another example of that. But instead of warning you yet again about the new media, I want to talk to you about what really sealed Spitzer's fate.

What was it? Simple this: he didn't know who he was.

When it comes to attracting women, there are two types of man you can be. You can be one or the other, and you can transition from one to the other. You cannot, however, be both at the same time which is what Spitzer tried to do.

You can either be a Marriage and Kids Guy or you can be a Rock N Roll Guy. You cannot be both at the same time.

If you decide to be a Marriage and Kids Guy, you've got to give up the Rock N Roll Lifestyle. That applies doubly if you're going to be a public figure with the media looking for a whiff of scandal.

Spitzer arrogantly thought he could get away with pretending to be a Marriage and Kids Guy while living a Rock N Roll Lifestyle on the side and he got zapped, deservedly so.

The lesson here is this: decide what you want to be, and be it. Don't try to be who you're not, and don't try to be both. Yes, you can transition from one to the other, but you cannot be both at the same time, else you'll lose it all.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to attract that one special woman? Or do you just want to meet lots of fun women for adventure and good times? To discover how to do both, http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 02:00 PM | Comments (0)

March 10, 2008

Love, hate and curiosity

Hey guys,

I want to share a sampling of the correspondence I receive over a "normal day" (as if any of my days are normal). It's fascinating to see how different people respond differently to the same input, thus revealing their "map and model" of the world.

"Map and Model" is an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) term, and simply refers to how people view the world. When you uncover someone's map/model, you can predict how they will behave in the future, saving you a lot of grief. As you read through these comments, see what you can discover about each person's view of the world in response to my emails (everyone gets the same email).

John--

the ultimate secret is you shutting the f**k up and f**king off with the e-mails you swineless piece of s**t, maybe u would get some bitches if u didnt keep sending other guys emails u f**king f**got, so STOP sending me s**t and trying to make friends, accept it u will always be a social reject --thank you and have a nice day u piece of s**t!!!!!!

-Stefan

JA: Ladies on the list, how many of you would like to have this wonderful individual in your life? He's a smooth talker, huh?

John--

I really to appreciate your newsletters. I would give alot to be able to sign up for your course, or, even better, come see you in a live seminar.

Despite the fact that I have pretty good looks (6'5'' blonde hair, blue eyes, and muscularly built really well) I have been having the worst luck with women ever since the girl of my dreams dumped shortly after being together for 3 years. And event though that happened 4 years ago, I still miss her.

With regard to meeting women, I usually get the girls number or sometimes I even hook up with them for a night or two, but something repetitive has been happening. The last 4-5 beautiful women who were initially really attracted to me have done a complete 180 after the first date/hookup or two and ceased being attracted to me, ceased calling me back or returning my text messages, etc. I think its interesting that your website has addressed this! I hope someday to be able to afford it but, truly, these are really difficult times financially, even though I make good money, have had a family member fall ill.

Anyway, I believe you are truly trying to help the "good guys" out there who just want a better chance at attracting and having meaningful relationships with women. I appreciate that, as far to often, there is just one distasteful gimmick after another on the internet these days.

Sincerely,

Chris

JA: Thanks for the email, Chris. If you're getting reactions like this on a consistent basis, then there's something you're doing that kills the attraction. Without knowing more, I can't tell you what that is, but I can assure you the answer is contained in my Ultimate Unlimited Lifetime of Power and Success with Women System (http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm ). I think you will find it to be a good investment, and some of the information contained in it might just put you on the path to solving your financial woes as well--it's been my experience that what's usually causing a guy to have issues with women is the same thing that's causing him to have financial issues... when you remove that "thing" both money and women get better at the same time.

Dear John,

Why should you fill 14 pages repeating the same subject on and on (and obliging the readers to lose a lot of their (in some case) precious time, without telling in few words what's it all about and how much is the price you ask for explaining your method (provided it works)? Anyhow, congratulation if you really have discover such a way (I have not!).

All the best,

Gianpasar

JA: This is actually not a bad question, because it leads to a very important part of the "attraction puzzle." The letter you're referring to is actually 28 pages in length, and with inserts is 44 pages. It obviously took a lot of time, energy and effort to put together. If one or two paragraphs would do the job instead of 44 pages, common sense reveals that I would indeed use a few short paragraphs and be on my merry way.

Unfortunately, that's how it works. The reason my letter is so long is because that's what it takes to get results. Anything less does not work (and how I wish it did!). The same lesson applies to attracting women--if you want to get results, you have to do what works, not what you wish would work, or what should. If I could just show up and women would fall all over me, that'd be wonderful, but it doesn't work that way. Yes, "automatic attraction systems," defining authority, acting like a naughty boy, "switching" and other kinds of attractive behavior do require some time, energy and effort (although not too much in the grand scheme of things), but if you want results with women you have to do them. I do what I do in all areas of life because that's what works, plain and simple.

OK, guys, when you read over these emails, you see vastly different response to the same input, just like you do with women. When you're able to uncover someone's map or model of the world based on just a few paragraphs, you got a big advantage in the world. Master this skill, and you'll get 'round you people you want, and get rid of those you don't before they cause problems.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to attract that one special woman? Or do you just want to meet lots of fun women for adventure and good times? To discover how to do both, http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:35 AM | Comments (0)

March 09, 2008

Why do women love 'naughty boys?

Hey guys,

One of the biggest secrets I ever learned about creating attraction in women was the power of the "naughty boy." Not the bad boy or the jerk, but the "naughty boy." Why are women so attracted to "naughty boys," and just what is a "naughty boy?"

These are questions I get all time, so I thought I'd take a bit of time to answer them today, plus explain just what a naughty boy is. Some guys intuitively get this concept, but others have a difficult time grasping it, at least when they read about it. Every man gets it when they see it demonstrated, but it can be kind of hard to describe in print.

So what I'm thinking about doing is, shooting a video with me, and an attractive woman, where I demonstrate just what a "naughty boy" is. That way you can see my "naughty boy smile," plus see and hear what I say to her, when I say it to her, and how I say it to her. You'll also see what I specifically avoid saying to her, which is just as important as what you say. If you guys like the idea of me shooting a video like this, just send me an email letting me know, and I'll get to work on it in the next few weeks, providing enough guys are interested.

OK, so just what is a "naughty boy?" Think back to grade school. Remember the class clown who, for whatever reason, just couldn't quit saying things he wasn't supposed to? No matter how hard he tried to be good, he just couldn't help himself when the opportunity to bring the house down with laughter presented itself. He was spontaneous, and even he didn't know what he was going to say or do until he did it. He was never mean, always fun loving, even if he did push the envelope. He was also wildly popular because he made every body laugh.

That's the best way to describe the "naughty boy." Women love being around the naughty boy because he's smiling a smile full of mischief, he's unpredictable, he makes them laugh, and he says things he knows he shouldn't say, but does anyways. He pushes the envelope as much as he can, but never in a mean or hurtful way. Everyone is always wondering what he's going to say or do next, a subtle--yet powerful way--of defining authority. He creates tension with what he says, but releases it with laughter in what he says next. Everything he does is in the spirit of fun. Everywhere he goes is the place to be.

Now, there's something very important you need to know about being the "naughty boy." It CANNOT be who you are, it's only a side you let out. First and foremost, women love MEN. If all you are is a naughty boy, the attraction will soon fade. Why? Because there's no mystery... that's all you are. But if you're a man who has a naughty boy side, along with a sincere side, a serious side, and an intellectual side, women find that almost irresistible. The switching between these sides, with a lot of the naughty boy thrown in, is what creates incredible states of attraction. Just when she thinks she has you figured out, you show her another side, adding to the mystery.

How do you develop your naughty boy side? Practice--whenever you see a woman, just say whatever comes into your mind in a playful sort of way. Do NOT have any "canned openers." Women can smell these a mile away. Once you know how to get response to your naughty boy side you can come up with a few themes that work for you, but stay away from memorized "lines."

Remember, the naughty boy doesn't know what he's going to say until he says it, and he's often just as surprised with what comes out. BUT, no matter what he says, he knows it will be funny, and he expects her to laugh. It's this expectation that gives the naughty boy his power. So, my friends, go forth and be "naughty" to all the women you meet... you'll be amazed at how many are suddenly attracted to you... for whatever mysterious reason!

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PPS Are you finally ready to master every part of your dating and relationship life? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 07:26 PM | Comments (0)

March 08, 2008

Why cool guys automatically attract women… and how to be one

Hey guys,

There are a variety of different reasons why guys want to learn the skill of attraction, and not all of them have to do with women.

Some guys just want to show off for their friends. Others want to brag to a group of fellow losers about all their "number closes." And some men really want to attract desirable women.

If you're the guy who really wants to attract desirable women, than I can help you out. I cannot, however, help you out with the other reasons--you'll have to go elsewhere for those.

One of the most powerful ways I've discovered for automatically attracting women is to just be a cool guy. It sounds simplistic, but when you think about it, it really is powerful.

What does a cool guy do?

He knows all the cool places to go. Nothing ruffles his feathers. He has a witty comeback for everything that makes everyone laugh without putting anyone down--but lets everyone know he's in charge.

He has a good time wherever he goes and who ever he's with. He likes cool music that has to do with fun, good times and girls, and can't stand music that has to do with whining and angst.

He doesn't need to be with any woman, because he knows women always seek out the cool guy... and as a result he gets to spend time with lots of great women.

He doesn't take himself too seriously, and has no problem laughing at himself. He has a calm, centered energy, and people (especially women) find themselves relaxing around him.

He likes sports, and he likes to occasionally take a taste of alcohol--but not to excess. He's the kind of guy you'd love to hang out with because he's so much fun, knows so many cool people, and something exciting always happens with him.

So, as simple as it sounds, just be a cool guy... and you will automatically and effortlessly attract all kinds of women. They simply cannot resist hanging out with the cool guy.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and claim a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now!

Posted by john at 07:23 PM | Comments (0)

March 07, 2008

What’s the most unappealing thing to women?

Hey guys,

What is it that women can't stand most in a man, the traits that kill attraction faster than any other? Well, instead of me telling you, I'll just let one of the women on my list tell you.

Unfortunately, these traits are conditioned into "today's man," by a whiney, frightened media, resulting in men who can't attract desirable women. Once you know them, you can get rid of them, but you've got to know them first...

John -

THANKS for bringing up this very crucial issue - .... nothing more unappealing than a WUSS and Girlie-Man! Just because of this issue, older men are looking a lot more attractive, since they haven't "caved" to the pressures of society to portray men in wimpy - wussy fashion.

God help us! We need more real men around!

bjs

(p.s. - how to get a personal ques. on a relationship answered by you? )

JA: Thanks for the email, Barb (in reference to my email about the soft, feminine voices of today's men), and I'm sure all the older guys on the list are happy to hear what you have to say. I've been saying the same thing for quite a while too--older men have a built in advantage with younger women because they came from an era where a man carried himself with authority, and acted like a man. Today's men have a distinct disadvantage because there are very few places outside of the military, law enforcement, and some athletics where they can learn to act like a man.

The good news for today's younger guys is, if they take a bit of time to learn, study, and master the skills of attraction, they can not only attract desirable women, but also attract money, wealth and success since authority plays a large part in all of these.

For those of you guys confused about how to develop your sense of personal authority, be sure to check out http://www.johnalanis.com/authority.htm

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and claim a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now!

Posted by john at 04:11 PM | Comments (0)

March 06, 2008

Misuse & abuse- Is this killing you?

Hey guys,

One thing I can't abide is people who are tied to their cell phones, PDA's, and lap tops. Instead of increasing productivity, people misuse and abuse them, killing their productivity. When one beeps, their "owner" comes running like a trained pig, eager to see what or who is causing the beeping.

There was a great article on the time magazine website a few weeks ago talking about how interruptions were destroying productivity, that interruptions had actually taken the place of work. In other words, the purpose of the workday was to be interrupted!

Like all technology, cell phones, PDA's, beepers, etc. are all "morally neutral." And, used correctly, they can help you be more productive. But they are rarely used correctly.

Just yesterday I was in the gym, enjoying a quiet workout, when the woman beside me started cursing loudly. At first I thought she'd dropped a weight on her foot, but, no she was using the swiss ball with no weights in sight.

After I determined she did not drop a weight on her foot, I thought she might have been cursing at me--but then she had another outburst that was directed at no one. Just as I was about to reach the conclusion that she was a crazy loon, I noticed she had a cell phone plugged into her ear.

Not only that, but she was working out while cursing an employee (or one of her kids), and she continued to do so for the next 30 minutes, moving from exercise to exercise, getting more and more animated. I walked out of the gym refreshed and relaxed, she walked out frazzled and pissed off. This is obviously not the correct use of technology.

Most people think that when a device beeps they are obligated to answer it. They are not--I learned that a long time ago, and it's been one of the smartest mindsets I've adopted. Others find it annoying, but I could care less.

I unplug my home phone, turn off my email, and give my cell phone # to only a few select people. Business phone calls are handled by appointment, and I only take personal calls when I feel like it. Rarely do I answer the phone when it rings, unless of course, I'm
taking a scheduled call.

The result? My time is my own. People respect it and know that if they want to talk to me, it's on a scheduled basis. If someone calls me or emails me, I'm under no obligation to return that call or email--it's a very freeing feeling.

Here's an interesting side effect of this philosophy: it's very attractive to women. Why? First off, I have uninterrupted time to spend with them--the first thing I do is turn off my phone when I'm spending time with one. This is very unusual in this day and age.

Secondly, because I'm inaccessible, I obviously have an interesting life--unlike most guys I'm not calling them all the time. I end phone conversations quickly--better to spend that time in person than jawing on the phone. I am a scarce resource.

Most people let other people and devices run their life. But when you get control of your time and dictate to others how they will interact with you, your whole life instantly gets better--you have something very few people have, and that's time to enjoy your life on your terms.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS What better way to spend your newfound time than with a great woman? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover how.

Posted by john at 03:23 PM | Comments (0)

March 05, 2008

The direct approach

Hey guys,

One of the great mysteries in the world to men is how to approach a woman. Now, as you well know, I'm a big fan of setting up "automatic attraction" systems that get women to approach you. But, at some point, you should approach women as well.

What should you say? What should you do? Here's the best answer: just be direct.

The best "opener" I've ever used is this: "Hi--you look like someone I'd be interested in meeting, so I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. My name is John." Then I stick out my hand look her right in the eye and smile. When she takes my hand I hold onto to it as long as I please.

Women really appreciate this direct approach. It's straightforward, no BS, and it doesn't make her feel like you're trying to pick her up. It shows you're a man unafraid of rejection, and most of all it defines authority.

Women are very turned on by men of action. Using this direct approach shows her that when you're interested in something you'll take action to get it instead of talking about it.

The other thing it does is dramatically enhance your self image. Most guys are, for some reason, scared about approaching a woman and introducing themselves. Once you do it, you'll discover not only how easy it is, but how much women appreciate it. Other men will be awed by your "talent," thinking you're some sort of natural born ladies man.

Let them think what they want. You won't have to tell them it's one of the easiest things you've ever done--let the women you meet tell them that. When it comes to attraction, upfront and direct is always the best way to go.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Hey, approaching women is great, but it's even better when they approach you... and better yet when they do so "en masse." Discover how to get women to approach you first, no matter your looks, age or income-- go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:56 PM | Comments (0)

March 04, 2008

The problem with Matchmakers

Hey guys,

Recently matchmakers have become trendy. What used to be confined to just a few people in the country is now in vogue everywhere, and matchmakers are popping up all over the place.

Are matchmakers a good thing, or a bad thing? The answer, of course, is the usual "it depends," but there's a bigger issue here: the premise of all matchmakers is fatally flawed.

You see, no matter how well meaning a matchmaker is, they all fundamentally believe if you put a well matched man and woman together, nature will take its course, and they'll wind up together.

But that rarely happens. Why? Because attraction is not something that just happens, it's a skill. If you don't have the skill, odds are you'll chase away a woman who's perfectly matched for you. If you do have it, you can attract just about any woman, no matter if she's your type or not.

If you don't learn the skill of attraction, no matchmaker in the world can help you, and all they become is a waste of time and money.

But if you DO learn the skill of attraction, they can be a very valuable resource because they can get you in front of women you'd never meet on your own.

So, what it boils down to is this: attraction is a skill, learnable by any man, not something that just happens. Learn it, and you'll never be lonely.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Wait! Where can you go to learn the skill of attraction? Well, check out http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now!

Posted by john at 04:05 PM | Comments (0)

March 03, 2008

Online dating from a woman’s perspective

Hey guys,

Recently I received an email from a man wondering why so many women's profiles stayed up for so long on online dating sites. The reason, of course, is these poor women can't seem to meet any attractive men online and are subjected to waldoes, wusses, and nice guys.

I received several good responses from women regarding their experiences with online dating, and today I want to share one of those with you.

John:

I've been meaning to write to you for days now. When I saw you were also a fan of Robert Cialdini's theories, I just had to respond.

I'm a fit, attractive, no-strings-attached, non-clingy woman with a fun career who had been on a popular online dating site for (I hate to admit it) YEARS now, I HAD to write back regarding online dating.

I couldn't agree w/your message below more:

"Oh, and the reason you see so many women with profiles that stay up for months? They keep meeting losers, wackos, and creeps who repel women instead of attract them. If you think it's tough for guys to meet attractive women, it's a nightmare for women to meet attractive men. That's why you see the same profiles over and over."

I try to be a positive thinker. However, the truth is, when online dating first took off, it was a fun place to meet people. It's now turned into a cesspool of men (and woman) who have what I call 'Relationship A.D.D.' It creates a 'kid in a candy store' mentality and women are increasingly wary to utilize the online venue.

I've had guys write to me with emails full of innuendo and others who have railed on me for being 'too picky' in my profile. Hey, I'm paying to post an online profile. There's nothing wrong with stating what I want! : ) Then there are the men who clearly have not read my profile before responding as well as men who come on WAY too strong.

If you're a guy out there who wants to attract a quality woman online, my suggestions for your profile are:

* Have a great CURRENT photo (be truthful about your weight and height or you are just wasting everyone's time.) Everyone is attracted to different things. Be PROUD of who you are!

* Mention you are secure in your career but not a work-a-holic (if this is true)

* Don't just 'wink' at women in which you are interested. Most of the attractive women on these sites will pass you by as you are not putting in any effort. Your emails should reference specific details you admire in her online profile.

* Your emails should NOT come on too strong. Show that you are a confident man, but do NOT act wimpy by referring to past relationship failures, etc. (As John also recommends.)

* Most importantly, if you just got out of a relationship, take the time to get your life together and confidence back before attempting to date again. Women (and I'm sure men) really resent being your 'transitional' person.

Lastly, whether it be online dating or face-to-face encounters, NEVER pass up the chance to greet an attractive woman. You have no idea how few times men pass up the chance as they fear those women are 'taken', 'out of their league' or 'b*tchy.'

Thanks John.

-Leah

JA: Thanks for the great email, Leah, your advice is right on, especially when it comes to men sending "winks." Nothing says "I'm a wimp," or "I'm lazy" more than sending one of those dumb ass winks. If you got the idea to send one, so did 27 other men. If you want a woman to respond to you, you've got to send a well written email that evokes mental images, compelling her to want to find out more about you. A wink does not do that.

I once had a guy who bought my Deluxe System, and sent in his coupon for a profile critique. I made some changes in it, and told him he had to actively write women since he lived in a sparsely populated area. What did he do? Sent out 187 "winks," then griped because only ten women looked at his profile. Heck, those are actually pretty good numbers, based on "winks"--think what would have happened had he followed my advice.

Thanks for the excellent email, Leah.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and claim a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now!

Posted by john at 03:58 PM | Comments (0)

March 01, 2008

How NOT to attract extraordinarily beautiful women

Hey guys,

Did you know that a large majority of stunningly beautiful women wind up with boringly average guys?

It's true, and the reason for that might surprise you. You see, when most of these women are approached by rich, powerful, and good looking men, they are approached on the basis of their looks, and that's that.

Strangely, this is a little bit scary to women like this, and it winds up turning them off when a man tells them how beautiful they are.

Here's why: she knows she's not going to be as beautiful as she is right now forever. And she knows if a man is only interested in her because of her beauty, he'll lose interest in her as she gets older, or chase after the next beautiful woman that comes his way.

So, when attracting extraordinarily beautiful women, don't be intimidated with, or infatuated by her looks. She knows she's hot, and while you should acknowledge that, your attitude should be that with you, rare beauty is a minimum standard, and that being around such women is normal and customary for you.

When you do that, an interesting thing happens. She knows you are attracted to her for more than her looks, and YOU know you had to look deeper than just looks to find something else attractive about her.

This is good in two ways. First off, she knows that in addition to her beauty, you appreciate her other qualities as well. Secondly, you're now with a woman who's qualified to spend time with you because she has other characteristics other than beauty.

So, when you approach stunning women in this manner, you're much more likely to attract one who's better suited for you, and more easily create initial attraction because you're not slobbering over her like all the other choads.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Discover how to get women to approach you first for a date no matter your looks, age, or income. Go to http://www.effortlesscommunication.com/enter.htm

Posted by john at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)

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