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April 30, 2008

A reason to change?

Hey guys,

Yesterday I was in the gym lifting weights when yet another whiney alternative song squeaked throw the loud speaker. This time the whiner singing was pleading that he'd found a "reason to change and start anew because the reason is you."

Any women who hears that from a man should run to the hills immediately. Why? Because it's a recipe for disaster.

Now, if you're a guy who's had issues in the past, and know a change is in order, that's a good thing, not a bad thing. But if you're looking to modify your behavior for an external reason, things aren't going to change, ever, and you'll be worse off than before.

You cannot "change" for someone else, you can only change for YOU. Now, that change may certainly benefit other people in a positive manner, but if it's not for you, it will never be permanent.

People who succeed in life do so due to an internal, burning desire. They want to succeed for themselves, and are driven to do so from within. If you try to succeed for an external reason (i.e. someone else), when that person leaves, or changes, any change you made will be lost.

The difference is subtle, but crucial. You see, when you make the decision to change for yourself, you're accepting responsibility for your current actions and acknowledging that your behavior (and therefore your outcomes) is within your control. That's a good thing.

But if you say you're going to change for external reasons, then you're subconsciously saying you're current results are not your fault, and something external is to blame.

So, if you want to change to get results, good for you--just be sure it's for the right reasons, and that's to improve yourself. Once you improve yourself, then you can help others--but not until.

In the meantime, turn off that damnable alternative music--it's proven to dramatically reduce testosterone levels. Turn on some Keel, Diamondhead or Iron Maiden instead. None of those guys ever apologized for being men.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Discover how to get sexy women to want to do what you want them to do. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/authority.htm.

Posted by john at 02:37 AM | Comments (0)

April 29, 2008

Who’s in charge? Who should be?

Hey guys,

In this day and age of the wuss, where girlie men infest the media, music is all about hurt feelings, and whining is the new, socially acceptable way to deal with life's problems, men are shying away from taking charge.

In male-female interactions, men now look to women to take the lead, afraid to "make a move," and risk disapproval.

It is a complete, unmitigated disaster. Men aren't happy, and neither are women. They're frustrated because they're told they should be, but they're not.

However, to the man who recognizes that biology trumps social programming every time, it presents an opportunity.

You see, the man who takes charge in interactions with women, is the man who winds up with power, control, and choice. Why? Because women biologically respond to the powerful, dominant man knowing he's the one who provides comfort and security.

Now, that doesn't mean you should be a loud, abusive, controlling blowhard. Not at all. In fact, the most effective leaders, the most effective men who take charge usually have a great sense of humor, rarely raise their voice, and have an expectation that things will get done.

All you have to do as a man is gently and firmly lead the way in the interaction, and she will be attracted to you. Sure you can ask for input (and you should) but the final decision is yours, as is the responsibility.

So, when in doubt, take charge... and watch others fall in line behind you.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Discover how to get sexy women to want to do what you want them to do. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/authority.htm.

Posted by john at 01:26 AM | Comments (0)

April 28, 2008

A day with no women?

Hey guys,

While this is a publication about attracting women, sometimes it's a very good idea for a man to have a day with no women at all.

Yesterday was such a day for me. I went to the gym (briefly), then rushed back in time to catch one of my favorite events of the year, the NFL Draft.

I spent the entire day watching the draft, talking with a good friend and fellow Cowboys fan, then ended the day with a huge T-Bone steak, something I'm sure PETA would disapprove of.

It was quite the manly day.

It was also relaxing, allowed me to clear my head, and get ready for the week ahead.

How does this apply to attracting women? Here's how: by spending time by yourself every now and then, and being comfortable with it, you will make yourself more attractive to women.

See, many guys can't stand to spend any time alone, and start worrying that any women in their lives are out having a good time without them. This leads to frustration and desperation, two killers of attraction.

When a woman meets a man she knows is comfortable spending time by herself, she knows he's not going to bother her by constantly asking where she is, or demanding she spend every waking minute with him With so many clingy guys in this day and age of the wuss, that one trait is very attractive.

So, spend a day by yourself every now and then--you'll be surprised at how much more attractive you are to women.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Here's how to learn the skill of attraction quickly and easily: go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 11:37 PM | Comments (0)

April 27, 2008

Online dating from a woman’s perspective

Hey guys,

Recently I received an email from a man wondering why so many women's profiles stayed up for so long on online dating sites. The reason, of course, is these poor women can't seem to meet any attractive men online and are subjected to waldoes, wusses, and nice guys.

I received several good responses from women regarding their experiences with online dating, and today I want to share one of those with you.


I've been meaning to write to you for days now. When I saw you were also a fan of Robert Cialdini's theories, I just had to respond.

I'm a fit, attractive, no-strings-attached, non-clingy woman with a fun career who had been on a popular online dating site for (I hate to admit it) YEARS now, I HAD to write back regarding online dating.

I couldn't agree w/your message below more:

"Oh, and the reason you see so many women with profiles that stay up for months? They keep meeting losers, wackos, and creeps who repel women instead of attract them. If you think it's tough for guys to meet attractive women, it's a nightmare for women to meet attractive men. That's why you see the same profiles over and over."

I try to be a positive thinker. However, the truth is, when online dating first took off, it was a fun place to meet people. It's now turned into a cesspool of men (and woman) who have what I call 'Relationship A.D.D.' It creates a 'kid in a candy store' mentality and women are increasingly wary to utilize the online venue.

I've had guys write to me with emails full of innuendo and others who have railed on me for being 'too picky' in my profile. Hey, I'm paying to post an online profile. There's nothing wrong with stating what I want! : ) Then there are the men who clearly have not read my profile before responding as well as men who come on WAY too strong.

If you're a guy out there who wants to attract a quality woman online, my suggestions for your profile are:

* Have a great CURRENT photo (be truthful about your weight and height or you are just wasting everyone's time.) Everyone is attracted to different things. Be PROUD of who you are!

* Mention you are secure in your career but not a work-a-holic (if this is true)

* Don't just 'wink' at women in which you are interested. Most of the attractive women on these sites will pass you by as you are not putting in any effort. Your emails should reference specific details you admire in her online profile.

* Your emails should NOT come on too strong. Show that you are a confident man, but do NOT act wimpy by referring to past relationship failures, etc. (As John also recommends.)

* Most importantly, if you just got out of a relationship, take the time to get your life together and confidence back before attempting to date again. Women (and I'm sure men) really resent being your 'transitional' person.

Lastly, whether it be online dating or face-to-face encounters, NEVER pass up the chance to greet an attractive woman. You have no idea how few times men pass up the chance as they fear those women are 'taken', 'out of their league' or 'b*tchy.'

Thanks John.


JA: Thanks for the great email, Leah, your advice is right on, especially when it comes to men sending "winks." Nothing says "I'm a wimp," or "I'm lazy" more than sending one of those dumb ass winks. If you got the idea to send one, so did 27 other men. If you want a woman to respond to you, you've got to send a well written email that evokes mental images, compelling her to want to find out more about you. A wink does not do that.

I once had a guy who bought my Deluxe System, and sent in his coupon for a profile critique. I made some changes in it, and told him he had to actively write women since he lived in a sparsely populated area. What did he do? Sent out 187 "winks," then griped because only ten women looked at his profile. Heck, those are actually pretty good numbers, based on "winks"--think what would have happened had he followed my advice.

Thanks for the excellent email, Leah.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and claim a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now!

Posted by john at 01:15 AM | Comments (0)

April 26, 2008

What to say when you don’t know what to say to women

Hey guys,

One of the biggest hangups most guys have when it comes to attracting women is they don't know what to say to them. Now, I can sit here and tell you all day long that it really doesn't matter, but until you've developed the skill of talking to women, you're not going to believe me.

Listen, I know how it feels to feel awkward and tongue tied around women, knowing you should say something, but having no clue what to say.

However, there is a solution. While I'm not a fan of cheesy pickup lines (unless you can deliver them in such an overblown, playful manner she knows you're teasing her), I am a fan of having one or two memorized openers when you can't think of anything else.

Now, before you use those, you really want to see what kind of spontaneous, semi-sarcastic, semi-funny comment comes to mind. Like anything else, this is a skill, and the more you work at it, the better you'll get at having the right thing to say pop into your mind at the right time.

That being said, sometimes nothing comes to mind, and that's when a memorized opener is a good fallback.

While you want to come up with a few that work for you, my personal favorite is this one: whenever I see an attractive woman, I look her right in the eye and smile my famous naughty boy smile, transmitting the intent of attraction.

When she smiles back, I simply say to her, "well what are YOU smiling about?" and we're into the conversation.

Works pretty darn good, and you can use it for yourself. However, I recommend coming up with a few that feel right to you--when it comes to attraction, there's nothing like having your own unique style.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Here's how to learn the skill of attraction quickly and easily: go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 01:12 AM | Comments (0)

April 25, 2008

Is success really all about who you know?

Hey guys,

It's a saying as common as the day as long--"success is all about who you know." Usually when someone says this it's because they're jealous or bitter, and use that as an excuse for their own lack of success.

So, is it really true, is success all about who you know? The answer is surprising because, it's about as close to a "yes," without actually being a "yes" as you can get.

You see, success in large part DOES depend on who you know, but the one thing that separates the truly successful from those who say they want to be is the successful people get to know those who can help them achieve success.

You see, a huge part of success is seeking out those who have already succeeded, have resources that can aid you, and are always on the lookout for like minded people.

So, the real answer is, success is all about getting know the right people--and that's where the skill of attraction comes in.

If you're a creep, a loser, or a choad, no one's going to want to hang out with you. But if you're a cool, genuine guy, with a strong sense of personal authority, and an abundance mentality that lets you be truly happy for someone else when they succeed, you're going to attract a lot of people like you, both men and women.

I've done a lot of things on my own, and gotten results due to hard work and diligent study. But the huge breakthroughs I've had have come from hanging out after hours with successful men and women I've been able to attract. Fun times have turned into lasting friendships, and those have turned into profitable business ventures.

And, because I know how to create attraction with women, I've developed lasting relationships with successful women most guys turn off, and that is a skill that gives me a competitive edge over most guys. No matter how successful a woman is, she always prefer to do business with an attractive man, and will do everything possible to avoid doing business with a creep.

The skill of attraction allows you to get to know successful people, and getting to know successful people leads to your own success in turn. Don't neglect this skill--it far transcends romantic relationships, although it ain't bad for those either.

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Here's how to learn the skill of attraction quickly and easily: go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 01:08 AM | Comments (0)

April 24, 2008

The Magic Pill promise

Hey guys,

Since I'm a direct marketer, I pay close attention to things like infomercials, magazine ads, and direct mail. There are two reasons: people who do these things successfully spend a lot of money to do so, and since all direct marketing is measurable only the successful pieces are run again.

It's very educational to look at ads that are repeated time and again, especially when you look at their commonalities. These commonalities give you a real world look at human behavior, an idea of how people really think, not how they should think.

Take, for example, any diet ad. The most successful ones all show pictures of all the food you can eat, and they generally have some bizarre twist--grapefruit juice, a special spray, weird flavors or some other "magic pill."

Now, anyone with any common sense knows if you want to lose weight and keep it off, you essentially eat less of the wrong things, and exercise more. Works for me everytime I exceed my personal allotted body fat percentage. But people don't want to what works--they want to do what is easy, what is done for them. In fact, they want it so bad they'll fall for outlandish promises, even when common sense tells them it ain't so.

If I wanted to get rich quick, all I'd have to do is go into the "male enhancement pill" market, with a "large promise." Now, every guy knows (or should know) that "male enhancement" is pure BS--yet it's the easiest thing to sell. Why? Because men desperately want to believe the story. Same thing with "pheromones"--they sell well because men desperately want to believe their promise. "Spray this glop on yourself, and women will irresistibly be drawn to you." Sounds good to me, but unfortunately it's a load of horse manure.

Here's the truth about all "magic pills:" you can get to the result most of them promise, but not by simply taking the pill. You have to take action, and do some work to get those results--but you discover it's worth it. Taking action builds your self image, taking a magic pill does not. And a strong self image is what attracts women.

Most people waste years of their lives chasing a magic pill. If they'd simply used that time to do what works, they'd be light years ahead of where they currently are. If the guy who buys every pheromone or "hypnosis offer" spent the time to learn how to attract women, he wouldn't be spending his nights alone... he'd have a skill he can use for life.

The only magic comes from taking action--so take it, instead of a

On with the fun...

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you finally ready to succeed with desirable women forever? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 04:53 PM | Comments (0)

April 23, 2008

Why women want this in a man

Hey guys,

Do you know one big thing women look for in a man that few men have, yet it's very easy to get?

Furthermore, getting this "thing," is not only very easy, it's a heck of a lot of fun. Yet, few men ever really go out of their way to get it, even though it's been proven to attract desirable women.

What is this "thing?"

Simply this: an interesting life.

Most men, sadly, do not have an interesting life, and neither do most women. That's why women look to men to provide an entry point to an interesting life, yet are continually disappointed when man after man turns out to have a life more boring than hers.

Making your life interesting is not all that difficult. All you have to do is break out of your normal routine, deliberately making it a point to experience things most men never will. But this breaking of routine is too difficult for most men.

If you, however, make it a point to do or read something new each day (or even each week), soon enough you will have an interesting life, at least in comparison to all your friends. And then a rather remarkable thing will happen... women will literally begin to seek you out, because you've got what they want: an interesting life.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Revealed at last: 7 new secrets to attracting the women you desire. http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm.

Posted by john at 04:48 PM | Comments (0)

April 22, 2008

You broadcast, she receives

Hey guys,

A few days ago I was talking with a female friend of mine about how women perceive men they're attracted to, and me who are not.

She said, "there's just something about a guy you're attracted to--he can walk in a club, and you can sense him from across the room, even before he sees you. I don't know what to call it, but that's what happens."

I hear this a lot from women. They feel "something" about a guy they're attracted to, even if they're too far away to talk to him. The man is broadcasting something, and she's receiving it.

Once I put a name to what they're feeling, women intuitively get it. All I say is, "oh, he was a man with a strong sense of personal authority," and they immediately say, "yes, that's it exactly."

Here's what you need to understand about why having personal authority is vitally important: we, as men, are broadcasters, and women are receivers. If you broadcast something attractive, women will come to you. If you broadcast something unattractive, they will flee.

What do most men broadcast? Doubt, desperation, lack of confidence, low self esteem, confusion, and feelings of inferiority.

However, when you learn the skill of attraction, and develop your sense of personal authority (all men have it within them to do this, it's just been repressed by social programming and the girlie men in the media), you'll broadcast confidence.

When you do that, women will immediately turn their heads when you walk in the room, because what you're broadcasting is so different from what every other man is.

So, always keep in mind that you, as a man, transmit, and women receive. If you want them to approach you, make sure you're broadcasting the right things.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS What's the one big secret to powerful, magnetic attraction? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/authority.htm.

Posted by john at 02:21 AM | Comments (0)

April 21, 2008

When conviction is a good thing…

Hey guys,

If you've been on this list for any length of time, you know one of the most important elements of attraction is personal authority.

An important element of personal authority is not only having convictions, it's conveying those convictions to other people in a passionate manner.

Now, I'm not talking about imposing your morals on other people. There's way too much of that going around, usually by people whose private behavior indicates they're not as moral as they'd like you to believe.

What I'm talking about is the ability firmly relay your philosophy and core beliefs (based on reality and outcome) to those around you. A man with this ability is a very attractive man.

You see, most men in this day and age have no convictions, or if they do, they keep silent for fear of offending anyone. They stand for nothing, believe in nothing, and wind up with nothing.

When a man passionately talks about his convictions, then backs them up with his deeds, women take note of this. They are very attracted to men with a purpose, because a man with a purpose usually has a strong sense of personal authority.

Conversely they're repelled by the spineless wimp who nods his head and says yes to everything that comes along because he wants to be liked by all.

Now, I'm not saying to go out and start arguments with every buffoon who disagrees with you. Not at all. What I am saying is, that when it's time for you to talk, if you're the guy who speaks firmly and passionately about his carefully chosen convictions, both men and women will look to you as a man to follow--and that's the kind of man women want to be with.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS What's the one big secret to powerful, magnetic attraction? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/authority.htm.

Posted by john at 03:12 PM | Comments (0)

April 20, 2008

What color is your language?

Hey guys,

One of the most important things I've discovered about attraction is the importance of using language that makes you stand out from the crowd, and paints word pictures.

You see, most people live a life full of dull, boring professional language, spoken by people who are terrified to say anything that might offend because they're so worried about what people will think.

When you use colorful language, and descriptive sayings, you stand out as unique, different, and exciting.

Here are a few examples:

"He was as unlaid as a pile of bricks" (a saying my good friend Ron C. uses a lot)

"You're looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger" (a favorite of Lance Mason of Pickup 101)

"You don't have to hit me with a skunk twice." (I got this one from Bill Parcells)

"Hold 'em by the nose and kick 'em in the ass" (George S Patton)

When you read these sayings, a mental image immediately pops into your mind. If someone says them to you, you remember them. If you use sayings like these, people remember you, especially desirable women.

So, remember, the more colorful what you say is, the more you will attract.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Why have these 5 attraction secrets been withheld from you? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover why...

Posted by john at 02:48 AM | Comments (0)

April 19, 2008

What women desperately want in a man

Hey guys,

As I write this, I'm at the Hard Rock hotel in San Diego, CA. Never have I seen a place full of so many posers, phonies, and wanna-be's, idiots all trying to convince others they're something they know they're not.

To get away from all these gomers, I went to the most vacant room in any hotel- the fitness center. Sure enough, there was no one in there, and I was able to get a nice workout, poser free.

The world we live into is, like the Hard Rock Hotel, full of posers and phonies--and women know it. But, like anything else, that leads to opportunity.

The opportunity here is this: people, especially women, are desperately seeking what can best be described as "authenticity"--someone who is who they appear to be. Women are tired of the phonies, and they want the real deal.

If you've ever met me in person, you know you get authenticity, even if it's not, at times, particularly pleasing. But I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, and that one characteristic has proven very attractive to women.

Don't confuse this with the dumb saying of "just be yourself, and women will like you." If who you are currently is not attractive to women, then you need to go to work to make yourself genuinely attractive to women.

That's what I had to do, and that's what I did. I learned the skill of attracting women, suppressed most of my unattractive habits (not all, some I never will), and amplified my attractive ones. The result is the genuine article, regardless of whether it's pretty or not.

The good news is, you can do the same. Learn the skill of attraction, turn yourself into the real deal, then present yourself as such. Women can easily separate the posers from the real deal, and they'll choose you each and every time.

Oh, for a great resource on quickly and easily becoming a genuinely attractive man, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Don't be a poser with women, become the genuine article, the man they truly want to be with. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 02:42 AM | Comments (0)

April 18, 2008

Secrets of Authoritative Humor

Hey guys,

Women love a guy who can make them laugh in spite of themselves. Having a good sense of humor is very important in attraction--but can you go too far?

That's the question I received yesterday, and it's a good one. Many men do go too far, and wind up turning a woman off because they don't understand the important nuances of humor that creates attraction.

Hey John,

This is Andrew H. from South Carolina. I haven't purchased your system yet but I'm seriously considering it. But I had this question that I thought of that you possibly could answer. I was wondering if when you're talking to a women, is it possible that too much of a sense of humor could turn the women off completely? If you can answer this then that would be great.



JA: Thanks for the great question Andrew. It's not so much that having too much of a sense of humor can turn a woman off, it's the kind of humor, and the use of it. Let me explain.

Women are very attractive to men who make them laugh by their genuine actions, words, and deeds. They are not attracted to men who obviously to get women to like them by making them laugh. Women do not like jokey, dopey clowns, nor do they care for men who are always angling for a laugh.

Using humor in the hope that because you made someone laugh they will like you always back fires. It's a loss of authority. Instead, you want to develop what I call an "authoritative sense of humor," where your comments, actions and sayings are colorful enough they make people laugh in spite of themselves (a great example of this is Bill Parcells).

When you develop a sense of humor like this, you'll find people gravitate towards you. They know you're more than a jokey clown, and can sense you have a serious "get down to business" side, softened by a sense of humor.

Remember, first and foremost women want a man who provides them with security and protection. But they also want that man to be kind, approachable, and fun to be with. An authoritative sense of humor accomplishes all that. Work on developing one, and you'll always have women and friends in your life.

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and lead a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 02:36 AM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2008

Are you misinterpreting her attraction signals?

Hey guys,

Do you remember that show Blind Date hosted by Roger Lodge? It was somewhat of a pre-cursor to all of today's reality shows, and the premise was pretty simple: select two contestants for a blind date, film the entire day, then have each person rate their experience with the other.

It was, to be sure, a cheesy show. However, if you paid closer attention to it, there was a lot to learn, especially how guys kill attraction with women.

Every now and then you'd get a couple that would hit it off, or a guy who knew how to create attraction, but for the most part each date was a disaster (makes for good TV).

The most educational part of the show as watching to see if you could identify the exact point in time where the guy killed any attraction, and it was usually in the first 5 minutes.

After that, you'd watch their paths diverge, the guy thinking it was going great, and the woman thinking he was a complete loser. At the end of the show the guy would always say how much she was into him, and how great the chemistry was, while she would be saying how she wasn't interested in him at all.

While the list of attraction killers was long and distinguished, the one that bit most guys in the butt was failure to pay attention to the woman in front of them. Instead they were listening to the conversations inside their own heads, thinking of what to say to impress her next.

Meanwhile, she'd be exhibiting obvious signs of disinterest and NO signs of interest, and he'd catch none of these.

Listen, if you want to succeed with desirable women, you have to pay close attention to how they are interacting with you. Are they engaged--laughing, smiling, reciprocating touch, and mirroring your behavior, or are they making polite conversation, secretly waiting for your conversation to end?

If you don't pay close attention, you'll never know... and you'll wind up like the choads on blind date, thinking it "went great," while she's running away as fast as she can.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you failing with women? If so, it might be because you've been victimized by the 5 myths about attraction. To discover what they are, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm.

Posted by john at 12:25 AM | Comments (0)

April 16, 2008

An unusual truth about attraction

Hey guys,

When I walked into the gym today, a woman walking past me suddenly looked at me and smiled.

When I walked into the grocery store, two women, one after the other looked at me and smiled.

When I walked into a restaurant to get some lunch today, a woman walking out looked at me and smiled.

Why did they all do this? Was it because of how I was dressed? Or my dashing good looks? Or because I flashed a huge wad of bills?

The answer is none of the above. Today I was wearing a Dallas Cowboys T-Shirt, hat, gym shorts, and athletic shoes. I was unshaven, and sloppy looking. And, since I had to send the IRS a huge check yesterday I was NOT smiling--in fact I was pretty pissed. And, since that check was sent in yesterday, I most certainly did not have a stack of pennies to flash, much less a wad of bills.

Here's why all these desirable women smiled at me (giving me an opening to start a conversation leading to other things): I know, without a fact, I'm an attractive guy. There's no doubt, only a firm belief... and women can sense that belief.

Was I born with it? Oh no, not at all. In fact, I used to believe the opposite--that I wasn't attractive. And what do you think happened? Women wouldn't even look my way, even though I was younger, and in better shape than I am today (it all goes to hell when you hit 30, guys).

When you truly believe you are attractive to women, they will approach you. So how do you instill that belief in yourself?

You don't do it with a lot of new age, self help, hocus pocus mumbo jumbo. You get your hands on good information, you study it, implement it, fall on your face, correct your mistakes, and repeat until you get consistent results.

And when you do get consistent results, that's when you'll acquire the belief, and that's when attracting desirable women will become effortless.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you failing with women? If so, it might be because you've been victimized by the 5 myths about attraction. To discover what they are, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm.

Posted by john at 04:09 AM | Comments (0)

April 15, 2008

The truth about social media and attraction

Hey guys,

In case you missed it, the latest internet fad is "social media." Social media are personal websites like MySpace and Facebook, that let you form networks with in person friends and friends from around the world.

I got a good question from a college student a few weeks ago wondering whether he should ask for a woman's # via Facebook since he hasn't seen her in person for awhile. The answer I give him might just surprise you...


I've been talking to this girl and we seem to get along pretty well. Our conversations are pretty good (make her laugh and what not). I do not get to see her all that often nor do I have her number. We mostly communicate on facebook and I was wondering both how to either ask for the number and/or just ask her to "hang out" sometime through facebook.

My gut tells me that asking through email is a bad idea, but i dont see her on a regular basis. Every little bit helps!!!! hope to hear from you soon,


JA: Thanks for the email, MJ. Your intuition is right--asking through email is not an especially good idea, and the thing to do is give her the opportunity to continue the conversation with you at another time the next time you see her in person. In fact, any time you meet a woman in person you happen to find attractive, you should always set up the next meeting then and there. Waiting is ALWAYS a bad idea.

However, you do have use what you have at your disposal, and that being said, just let her know you're really not an "email back and forth type of guy, and that you prefer to speak on the phone." Once you get her on the phone, don't talk long. Get in rapport with her, build a little attraction, then tell her you've got to go, but you can hang in person on X or Y day.

The key is to strongly and gently lead the interaction to where YOU want it to go. Women will follow a strong male presence, but that presence weakens the further you get away from an in person interaction. Facebook and other social media can be OK to meet people you otherwise never would have met, but they are a terrible way to communicate. I don't use them. If I want to spend time with a woman, I'll call her on the phone, then meet her in person. For someone out of town I'll keep in touch via email, but I draw the line at social media, and that makes me different... and women like different.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Don't forget, my friend Vin DiCarlo is giving away a free chapter of his really cool new attraction system, entitle The Attraction Code. I had a chance to review his entire system, and it is really, really good, not just a bunch of re-hashed pick up artist crap. You can claim your free chapter by going to http://vindicarlo.infusionsoft.com/go/ac/JohnA515/.

Posted by john at 05:10 AM | Comments (0)

April 14, 2008

Hard bitten no more

Hey guys,

I'm a huge fan of old movies, movies made before men became soft and weak. I love all the old Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Lee Marvin, Steve McQueen and Charleton Heston movies.

It's a fascinating exercise to watch the movies of yesteryear, then watch a movie of the same genre with today's actors. You'll instantly be able to tell how soft men have become.

The other night, Geronimo starring male model and manicured action hero Matt Damon was on AMC. Right after that was The Comancheros starring John Wayne. Never was the contrast more obvious than when you watch those two movies back to back.

In Geronimo, Damon and another male model prance around the screen on the verge of a sudden emotional breakdown, worrying that no one's around to give them a hug if they get a boo boo.

John Wayne, on the other hand, is a hard bitten man. He walks like a man, talks like a man, makes decisions like a man, and carries himself like a man. So did all the other actors of that era.

Which ones do you think women are biologically drawn to? The ones who act like men. So if you want to see a perfect example of what to do and not do, tune into the movies--today's for what NOT to do, and yesteryear's for what to do.

Just because today's man is soft and weak doesn't mean you have to be. More Wayne, Eastwood, and Niven with less Damon, Ferrell, and Affleck, and the world will be a much better place.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to step up to the big leagues and lead a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover how right now.

Posted by john at 04:27 AM | Comments (0)

April 13, 2008

What successful men secretly believe

Hey guys,

Here in the US, every kid is taught that all men are created equal. Now, this does not mean people are guaranteed equality of outcome (despite what the wusses in the media would have you believe), it means people are guaranteed equality of opportunity.

However, while we may start equally, we certainly don't end up in equal places, and there are a variety of reasons for that. One of the most important ones has to do with one key belief all successful people have.

That key belief is this: the successful man believes he is superior, not by birthright, but by demonstrated ability and self gained outcome.

Nowhere is that more important than in the area of attraction. Women are attracted to men who believe they are superior to other men when it comes to attracting women.

Now, there are a few key distinctions here. Notice I did not say women are attracted to arrogant men, nor did I say they are attracted to braggarts and loudmouths. I said they are attracted to men who believe they are superior based on demonstrated ability and outcome.

For a great example of this, go watch a few of the Sean Connery James Bond movies. In those movies, the Bond character believes he is superior to other men, and women can sense it.

The belief that you are superior to others based on earned outcomes, and sweated-for abilities is very attractive. But to get it, you have to work for it, have to make it a reality by doing those things other men will never do, such as master the art and science of attraction.

But once you do that, and once you have that belief, it will stick with you forever, and women will approach you wherever you go, almost as if an unseen hand is pulling them irresistibly towards you. That's the power of a healthy belief in your own, demonstrated superiority.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Forbidden attraction secrets revealed... go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now to discover them.

Posted by john at 12:28 AM | Comments (0)

April 12, 2008

If you don’t do this, you’ll never attract desirable women

Hey guys,

Would you like to know one of the biggest... but least utilized secrets to attracting desirable women? You would?

OK, come a bit closer and I'll tell you. If you want to attract desirable women constantly and consistently, you've got to genuinely like women.

Well, duh, you say, you already like women. But that's not the kind of "like" I refer to. Hey, any red blooded man likes a woman's shape, touch, feel, and energy, but you've got to get beyond all that when it comes to liking women.

See, you've got to like women for some of the things most men don't understand. You've got to like them because they're searching for strength and emotional safety, you've got to like them when they get a bit catty, you've got to like them when they misbehave, and you've got to like them because they're different than we are.

In other words, you have to like women for the very reasons they frustrate most men. But when you do, an extraordinary thing happens: you have lots, and lots of women in your life who trust you.

That's a rare thing because most women don't really trust men. Why? Because before there's trust, there must be understanding, and very few men understand women. But when you make it your business to genuinely like and appreciate women for being, well... women, that's when you start to understand them.

And when you understand women, you have a huge advantage over all other men.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Quit wasting time doing what doesn't work with women, and start doing what does. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover how right now.

Posted by john at 12:25 AM | Comments (0)

April 11, 2008

Let’s all chase the happy ending

Hey guys,

Last night I went to the movies to see 21. When I was in college, I became briefly fascinated with Blackjack and read all the books I could on the subject. I especially enjoyed Ken Uston's books and the misadventures of all his teams.

The movie was actually pretty good, but what was more interesting to me were the previews, especially the one for the Sex in the City movie.

When that series first came out, women couldn't resist watching it, so I tuned in to see what the fuss was all about. The first few episodes I saw were pretty good, but it quickly got to the point where I couldn't watch the darn thing--I kept hoping for Rambo or John Wayne to ride in and rid the place of girlie men, but no such thing happened, so I tuned out.

Anyways, they've made a movie based on the series, and the previews are already out. Now, I don't know how the movie will turn out, but there was one thing about the preview that turned me off--the phrase, "I was finally going to get my happy ending."

What did this phrase refer to? Wedding day, of course--the so-called "happy endings" of all the girls in the show was their wedding day.

Happy ending is a terrible word, and an even worse concept. Why? Because it presumes that once you put a ring on your finger, all your troubles are over, and you'll live out your life in extreme bliss.

Common sense tells us, of course, that's not true at all--and they do allude to that in the previews that "real life" doesn't always turn out that way. The problem is though, that so many people are programmed by the media and society that wedding day IS a "happy ending," and should be rushed towards at any cost.

This leads to nothing but disaster because, obviously, it's a beginning, not an ending. In fact, it's a beginning of a lot of hard work and responsibility, something that's always left out of the fairy tale. The beginning may be happy, but statistically speaking, most endings are not.

Like I said, I am not in any way, shape or form "anti-marriage" or relationship. I think it's a fine thing, but only under the right circumstance. Unfortunately most people buy into the "happy ending" bs (because they so desperately want to believe it) and make a bad relationship decision.

So, forget about the mythical happy ending--it leads nowhere. A happy beginning, with the outcome in your own hands? That's the right way to think.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Quit wasting time doing what doesn't work with women, and start doing what does. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover how right now.

Posted by john at 12:20 AM | Comments (0)

April 10, 2008

Why I never date, ask for phone numbers, or ask for a goodnight kiss

Hey guys,

Ever been on a date? You know, one of those pressure filled things where you pick a woman up, go to dinner, try to make conversation, act like a gentleman, then take her home hoping for a good night kiss.

Many years ago (longer than I can remember, actually) I used to go on those things. But I never succeeded with women until I stopped dating altogether.

Here's why: women want to meet a man who is different, a man who's way out of the ordinary, a man who can make them feel like no other man. They do NOT want to meet yet another average wuss.

What does the average wuss do? He goes on dates, asks for phone numbers, and hopes for a goodnight kiss. How does a woman know a man's a wuss? If he behaves like one!

In this day and age of disappointment with men, women are very quick to get rid of men who even appear to be a wuss, wimp, talker, or girlie man. They've had their time wasted far too often, and are ready for the real deal.

That's why you want to avoid behavior that can get you pigeonholed as a time waster, and engage in behavior that's new and different.

So, instead of dating, you hang out, instead of asking for a phone number you exchange contact information, and instead of hoping for a good night kiss, she grabs you by the collar and pulls you to the ground because you're so damn sexy.

That's the way the attractive man rolls!

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Quit wasting time doing what doesn't work with women, and start doing what does. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover how right now.

PPS Questions for the King? Then email them to me at questions@johnalanis.com.

Posted by john at 06:47 AM | Comments (0)

April 09, 2008

Why didn’t you marry her?

Hey guys,

It happens to me over and over again. I'll tell a long ago story of how I met a woman, we hit it off, had an amazing time together, and experienced an incredible feeling of attraction.

Invariably someone will ask, "well what happened--why didn't you marry her?" It's a question that drives me crazy because of all the unspoken implications behind it.

First off, let me say I am a big fan of marriage. I think marriage and family is the social bedrock of our country, and if you're going to have kids they need a mother and father who live and raise them together.

I also think marriage (or, more appropriately a marriage-like arrangement a la Gene Simmons that overcomes the financial disaster of divorce) is an institution to be respected, and anyone who gets married should do so with the intent of staying together.

That being said, however, I am very much against the "marriage at any cost" attitude that is prevalent in our society. Marriage is NOT appropriate for all people, and when people it is inappropriate for cave into social pressure and get married, the divorce lawyers start to salivate.

Furthermore, there is an insidious social belief that because you experience attraction with a woman (or "get physical" with her) that it means you should marry her. That's not true at all--initial attraction quickly fades, and lasting relationships are built on an entirely different set of factors.

Yet, everyday, well meaning men and women buy into the "complex equivalence" that intense, initial attraction means you should get married. Then after the initial attraction wears off (a biological fact that takes from six months to three years), they start blaming each other for "changing," end the relationship and repeat the cycle, thinking it's the other person, and never thinking about the fact their perception of marriage is fatally flawed.

Under the surface there's also the social implication that those who aren't yet married are somehow inferior to everyone else, an implication that riles me to no end. Many men and women have reached the conclusion that marriage is not for them, and made the wise decision not to engage in it, much to the chagrin of their thrice divorced friends.

If you want to have successful relationships with women, you must ignore the social programming instilled in us from Day 1 about marriage. It has little to do with how you initially feel about someone, and everything to do with how well matched you are with them for the long haul.

Neither should you feel guilty about relationships you have with women that are NOT leading towards marriage, something social programming is very good at making people feel. Shut out all the social programming, all the BS, all the criticism from others, and make decisions based on what's best for you.

You may stay single all your life and be much happier than all your married friends. Or you may get married wisely and have something not many people have--a truly lasting and successful marriage.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Read to attract the woman of your dreams? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover how right now.

PPS Questions for the King? Then email them to me at questions@johnalanis.com.

Posted by john at 03:33 PM | Comments (0)

April 08, 2008

Lots of money & good looking-- but still a dork...

Hey guys,

If you haven't watched the show Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo, it's worth tuning in. Why? Because you will see once and for all why looks and income just don't matter when it comes to attracting women.

The woman who hosts the show, Patti Singer, goes out and fetches women for her clients (rich men), sets them up on dates, and then counsels on them how to behave. The whole thing is filmed, and you as the viewer get to ride along.

As you might imagine, it's a complete trainwreck. The men on the show are living proof that you can have all the looks, and all the money in the world, and chase off any woman the instant you open your mouth.

One idiot spent the whole evening telling his date how beautiful she was. Another was so feminine I thought he was going to show up in high heels. Another one brought his male friend along on the date so he wouldn't be lonely.

All of them have self esteem and belief issues about women. None of them have any clarity of purpose regarding why they want to attract desirable women. And not a one of them actually pays attention to the woman in front of them. Personal authority? Forget about it.

If you've paid attention to my daily episodes for any period of time, you know there are two components to mastering the skill of attraction: get rid of your attraction killing behaviors, and
engage in attraction creating behaviors.

If you're unclear on what kills attraction, just watch the Millionaire Matchmaker. You'll see guys with looks, age and income on their side repelling women like there's no tomorrow. Pay attention to them--and make sure to never do what they do.

You'll be instantly more attractive.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Finally, I reveal ALL my jealously guarded attraction secrets. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover them right now.

Posted by john at 04:24 AM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2008

The power of… me!

Hey guys,

I have always been a big fan of Gene Simmons from Kiss, both musically and businesswise. A few days ago I got to see him speak live at a seminar and he was even better than I expected.

He has a rare way of connecting with a crowd of people and one on one, even if he only has a few seconds to talk to you. But one of the things I got most from his appearance was the power of "me."

On a pre-event interview he literally said, "Gene Simmons. Doesn't that just sound cool? I love ME!"

When he walked into the hotel the night before the event he greeted the people there to meet him by saying, "Isn't it nice to meet ME?"

Now, when he says this, you have to pay attention to his body language. He says it in such an overblown fashion that you can't help but laugh... and immediately like him. But, he attracts people to him because he really does believe what he's saying--he truly loves "me!"

I've been using the same language for the last few years with women, and it's very effective. One woman told me my motto should be, "If I wasn't me, I'd be jealous." I said that was good, but I would change it to, "If I wasn't me, I'd be jealous too."

She thought that was hilarious.

A friend of mine once saw William Shatner walking down the street in New York with a sexy woman on each arm. He was staring at Shatner (to see if it really was him), and Shatner looks at him, flashes a grin and says, "Yes, it's me!"

When you use "me" correctly, you'll make yourself devastatingly irresistible to women. So, put the "you's" and the "I's" aside for now, and focus on... "me!"

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Finally, I reveal ALL my jealously guarded attraction secrets. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover them right now.

Posted by john at 04:50 PM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2008

A tough decision

Hey guys,

One of the toughest decisions a man has to make is choosing between two seemingly well qualified women for a long term relationship. How do you make the right decision without coming across as a jerk?

That's what today's email from Keith D. currently serving in Iraq is all about. Read it carefully, plus my answer to discover how to deal with a difficult situation like this.


I am a Soldier currently deployed to Iraq. Back home waiting for me is an amazing woman that I have been with for a few years following an ugly divorce. However, since I have been here I have met another amazing woman that wants to have a long term relationship. We met under some pretty extreme conditions and now I can't get her out of my mind. She is equally amazing and I am having trouble deciding what to do. I don't want to be "one of those guys", but I really like both of them. What is the right thing to do?


Keith D

JA: Thanks for writing in, Keith--always good to hear from military personnel. There are a few things that are important here. The first one is this: it's a psychological phenomenon that when men and women meet under extreme duress that extreme attraction is produced. (In fact, if you want to create attraction with a woman, engage in physical activity with her (such as running, or going to the gym), and attraction will develop from there.) Now, that does not mean you should necessarily have a long term relationship based on that extreme initial attraction, because initial attraction has very little to do with the success of a long term relationship.

That intense attraction will fade in six months or so, and then you're left with someone you may or may not be well matched with. So, the thing to do is to sit down and unemotionally decide what your current desired outcomes with women are- in other words, gain clarity of purpose.

Once you've determined that, then you need to sit down and decide what it is you want, and don't want in a woman, especially if you are interested in a long term committed relationship. When you go through this exercise, you may actually find out that one or both women are not appropriate for that kind of relationship. The key here is to make sure you go through this exercise unemotionally, taking into account those things that lead to success in a long term relationship.

In my Ultimate Unlimited Lifetime of Power and Success with Women System, I devote an entire section to this very thing. You can check it out at http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm.

Thanks for the email, Keith and for your longtime service to our country.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Finally, I reveal ALL my jealously guarded attraction secrets. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover them right now.

Posted by john at 01:20 AM | Comments (0)

April 05, 2008

How not to be ripped off by women

Hey guys,

Ever worried about being scammed or manipulated out of your money or possessions by a woman? At one time or another, every man probably has asked himself the question, "does she want me for my money or for me?"

One of the biggest traps for men today is from women running scams on online dating sites, pretending to be interested, but only out for money. Read the email below to discover how to avoid being taken advantage of...

Hello John.

I received your deluxe package 3 months ago and I have to say that all the info is right on the money. For any guy wanting to learn some powerful information, this is it. My problem has been and it is known to many people is that the wrong people, men and women have come into my life almost all the time. Observers, such as my local pizza man or laundry guy would always tell me to get away from that certain individual.

I thought that they should mind their own business but they always turned out right. I am lucky not to be ruined professionally or financially today. My experience and smarts protected me from that. But, recently I turned to online dating to find some quality women in my life and I'm going to tell you what is happening. I joined eharmony and meetingfriendsonline.net and I have received a lot of traffic.

The women are very complimentary toward me saying I'm handsome, you have a good body, and you seem like a cool person. But here is where the problems exists. They send me some extra pictures and it seems the person on the profile picture is a different person from the extra pictures.

The profile always says they live near me or they live in the US but they always say they live in another country like West Africa. When I ask them about it, they say it was a mistake or their best friend wrote the profile. There is always a story that their parents died, a boyfriend treated them bad, or died, and someone in their family is sick. When I ask them about working they are very vague with their answers or claim they are not working at all.

On three occasions, I was asked to wire money to them but I refused since I never met them and where I live is very expensive anyway. John, I would like to know your opinion on this and how I should handle this in a correct, polite way. To tell you the truth, I will probably never meet these ladies and it is wasting my time. I will never wire or send money in this situation or do I think it is fair that I help grant US citizenship to these ladies who I never met. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,

Phil P.

JA: Thanks for the email, Phil, and congratulations for taking action and investing in good information. First off, one skill you should make it your business to work on is quickly qualifying or disqualifying all people you meet in life. If you've had some issues with that in the past, sit down and think about all the commonalities of people you met who appeared to be good at first, but later turned out to be turds. Learn these commonalities, and look for them in others.

As far as avoiding women trying to scam you out of money via the internet, that one is pretty simple. If she's out of the country, just ignore any communication. There are plenty of other, better women right where you live much more worthy of your time.

Your goal in using online dating services should be to screen women to meet in person. I never mess around with email sessions back and forth--I get on the phone with her fast, and if I like her I set up an in person meeting. If she's not interested in that, I don't waste any more time--there's no reason to. If you adopt this mindset, not only will you get rid of the obvious scammers, you'll get rid of the flakes, fakes and other time wasters.

Spend your time on the women best suited for you, and ignore all the others.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Get your hands on the same great information Phil did. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 01:17 AM | Comments (0)

April 04, 2008

The magic of relaxation

Hey guys,

When you're at home, it really is hard to relax. Why? Because you're not changing your environment or the people you see on a daily basis. Since your environment is the same, it triggers all the stresses in your day to day life, and any attempt at relaxation is cursory.

But when you change your environment, and spend time with people like you who share your hopes, dreams, desires, and frustrations, it's energizing... which is what relaxation is all about.

When you become truly relaxed, that's when you're able to focus your energy for maximum attraction effect. That's why true relaxation is such an important part of the skill of attraction. Attraction has a lot to do with your "energy," and if it's low or weak due to the stresses of the day, you won't be as attractive as possible.

But when you make it a point to deliberately get away, and spend time with like minded people, you'll return re-energized, and you'll be shocked at how much more attractive you are to women.

So, work true relaxation into your schedule... and enjoy the results!

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Finally, I reveal ALL my jealously guarded attraction secrets. Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm to discover them right now.

Posted by john at 01:13 AM | Comments (0)

April 03, 2008

Yet another way to kill attraction

Hey guys,

Before you learn how to create attraction, there is a very important thing you must do. What is it? You must get rid of all your attraction killing habits.

If you don't, you will always wind up killing the attraction dead, even if you did everything right. Today I want to talk about a huge attraction killer most men are unaware of.

Here it is: the expectation that something "physical" is going to happen when you're going out with a woman. If she senses in any way, shape or form you have an ulterior motive, or expect something from her, that will kill the attraction.

I don't know how many men I've heard say, "I spent $200 on dinner and drinks, and all I got was a hug at the end of the night." Well, duh. It's because you thought that since you bought her something, she'd give you something in return, and attraction just doesn't work that way.

You cannot buy a woman's affections, and richer, better looking, and more successful men than you have already tried. When you do this, she recognizes you as just another guy, and treats you as such.

So what's the answer? Simply this: get rid of the expectation that she's going to give you something physical in exchange for a night on the town, and replace it with the mindset of mystery, intrigue, and anticipation.

When you disconnect from the expectation mindset, and replace it with the mystery, intrigue and excitement mindset, the whole game changes. She senses you're completely different from other men because of the absence of expectation, and that alone can lead to attraction.

When you add in naughty, playful, funny and other attraction creating behavior, all with no expectations whatsoever, that's when the fun really starts.

You cannot chase attraction, nor can you buy it. It's not a transactional thing. But when you're cool to the wire, and let things come to you, you'll both wind up having a good time, and she'll usually says this:

"I can't believe that just happened."

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 01:59 PM | Comments (0)

April 02, 2008

The attraction is gone— why?

Hey guys,

Ever met a woman, hit it off, thought things were going great and then... wham--she tells you she's just not interested any more?

I think every guy has, and it's frustrating as hell if you don't know why. If you do though, you can take early action to make sure it doesn't happen, and keep her interested. How? Read the following question and my answer to discover how to do just that...

My girlfriend has recently been having some trouble with our relationship. She says that I am the one for her but she feels something is missing but she is unsure of what the hole is from. She has told me that she wants to move a little bit slower and we have already been together for a month. I have been trying to do everything to re-create the attraction but not much is helping...please help!


JA: Thanks for the email, Samuel. This is something I hear about over and over again, and I used to experience it myself. What usually happens is this: when she meets you, she feels attraction. But over time, you start making yourself available all the time, you gradually stop doing the things that created the attraction in the first place, and you let your personal authority slip. What's missing here is the feeling of attraction she felt in the first place.

The first thing to do is to STOP making yourself so available. When a woman knows she can have you anytime she wants, it's an attraction killer. Why? Because all the mystery, intrigue, and excitement is gone.

The next thing to do is to mentally remove your "one and only" attachment from her. The instant she feels you've made a mental attachment to her, the attraction fades. She may be a great woman, but she's one of many great women available to you, and you need to adopt this mindset, and do so ASAP. Women don't like men who make them the center of their lives, they like men who have interesting lives they get to be a part of.

The last thing to do is re assert your personal authority--when she's saying you should "slow it down," that means you've let the authority slip over to her, and again she feels something is missing. As a man, you should take the lead in the relationship, so she can follow.

Truthfully, it may be too late with this one--once the attraction is lost, it's hard to regain it. But, even if you don't recreate it, you'll know what NOT to do with the next woman... and that's very valuable in and of itself.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 01:56 PM | Comments (0)

April 01, 2008

Nobody's Fool

Hey guys,

It's April Fool's day, and to celebrate most men will be fooling themselves about women, dating, and relationships.

They'll do what "should work," instead of what does work, they'll pay attention to the anti-male media, and they'll wonder why they're frustrated with women.

These guys aren't just April Fool's, they're everyday fools and you want to do everything in your power not to join them. You don't want to be an April Fool, an Everyday Fool, or Yet Another Fool... you want to be Nobody's Fool when it comes to women.

In other words, you want to do what works, instead of fooling yourself into believing what society and the girly men in the media say works. Unfortunately, for many men, it's easier to indulge the fantasy of what doesn't work, and use it as an excuse to give up on women altogether, instead of doing the hard (but quite pleasant) work of learning the skill of attraction.

So, here are a few tips to make sure you're Nobody's Fool on this April Fool's Day.

Women respond to men with a strong sense of personal authority. So don't be a wimp, a wuss, or a whiner.

Women are attracted to men who can make them laugh in spite of themselves. So make them laugh in spite of themselves.

Attraction is NOT a covert or sneaky thing. It's overt. So when you meet a woman who qualifies, be overt.

The best way to turn off a woman is to be a creepy guy, full of doubt and desperation. So don't be a creepy guy.

Women like men who genuinely like women. So make sure you genuinely like women.

Keep these little "attraction bullets" in mind, and you'll find yourself automatically attracting women. And if you have trouble remembering them, commit this little rhyme to memory (all you Cinderella fans should have no problem here...)

"If you call her on the phone, but never get a rise, then sit there all alone, until you realize... I'm not your fool, nobody's fool..."

On with the fun....

-John Alanis

"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Are you ready to choose your own relationships and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 03:59 PM | Comments (0)

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