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“The
Ultimate Collection of the World's Worst Pick
Up Lines”
For whatever mysterious reason, men (and women) are fascinated by "pick up lines"-- even though it's been proven over and over again they don't really "work," at least not for their stated purpose.
I've been in the business of teaching men how to get women to approach them first for a date no matter their looks, age, or income for awhile now, and I've never had any man (not even my best students) tell me they walked up to a woman, delivered said bad line, and "presto" off she went with him. It just doesn't work that way in the real world.
However, that doesn't mean that "pick up lines" don't have their use, because they do-- they are in fact a "genre" of jokes, almost "puns," and as a topic of conversation are quite funny. It is also quite an amusing spectator sport to watch a so-called "pick up artist" deliver rehearsed lines to woman after woman, hoping the "numbers game" will finally yield his desired result-- which of course it never does.
So, while I've never heard of anyone successfully using a "pick up line" to start a conversation with a woman, I do have story after story (including my own) of guys creating attraction with women by talking ABOUT bad pick up lines, after they've created a measure of rapport. Usually what happens is, one person tries to "top" the other, to see who truly knows the worst pick up lines.
The
below pick up lines (or "chat up lines" if you're from the UK)
were sent in by my subscribers (from www.womenapproachyou.com
), and as you can see by looking at them, they are as numerous as they are
bad. They've been sent in from all parts of the globe, proving that
pick up lines are not limited to the western hemisphere- they truly are an
"international language." Some are hilarious, others are
just plain dumb. Many of these were actually overheard in real life,
and a few were sent in by women who had them said to them!
The purpose of this document is purely to entertain you and for you to add to it. Pass it on to your friends, neighbors and relatives, and add your contribution.
If you have a web site (any website), feel free to post it there-- you have my permission.
It will eventually make its way back to me, bigger, louder and badder, and when it does, I'll post it on my website for all the world to marvel at. But for now, forward it to as many people as you can, and while you might not meet any women as a result, you will at least give someone something to laugh about for a few minutes, which in this day and age is one of the best gifts you can give them. Although numbered, these lines are not in any particular order-- I just listed them in the order they came in.
And, if you're truly interested in discovering how to welcome a great woman into your life (or you're a woman reading this who'd like to know just how men think), or improve your relationship if you're already in one, then hop on over to www.womenapproachyou.com and sign up for my politically incorrect attraction tip of the day. It won't cost you a dime, and I'll guarantee you this-- I may make you laugh, I may piss you off, but I'll never bore you. And, if you pay close attention to what I have to say, I may just change your life forever, like I have for many of my subscribers. But, hey, don't take my word for it, find out for yourself-- www.womenapproachyou.com
On with the fun!
PS
Some of these "pick up lines" do contain a few curse words, so
please don't forward this to anyone under the age of 18, OK? And if
you're under 18, please quit reading and delete this email right now--
your time will come soon enough.
Bad
Pick Up Line Submission #1 Bad Pick Up Line Submission #2 1. You are driving in the car and you say "Oh I might get into trouble for driving under the influence" She will say "Why is that?" and you say "Because I am intoxicated by your beauty!" 2. "You are like Visa....you are every where I want to be!" 3. "Are those 'space pants'?....your ass is out of this world!" 4. "I lost my phone number...can I have yours?" 5. (bending down looking on the ground) "Oh exuse me I think I just dropped my congressional medal of honor!" 6. "Are you single?" 7. "You're hot can I take you out some time?" Bad Pick Up Line Submission #3 1- Sex is not the answer. 2- One of us is thinking 3- So...How i'm i doin? 4- Want one? 5- Wink. I'll do the rest. 6- I envy your lipstick. 7- Whoops! Sorry, 8- I just want to be loved- is that so wrong? 9- My name's not Elmo but you 10- Is it me or am I gorgeous? Bad Pick Up Line Submission #4 Hey,
did you fart? Because you blew me away Bad Pick Up Line Submission #5 1. I
know I've never met you before, because no one could be so lucky as to
meet someone so beautiful twice in one lifetime. 2.
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 3.
Are you a model? Bad Pick Up Line Submission #6 "Hi!
. . . say . . . didn't we go to different schools together?" Bad Pick Up Line Submission #7 Man
2 woman: I hear you like to sleep? women:
yes Man:
what a coincidence, so do I! Maybe
we can do it together sometime. Bad Pick Up Line Submission #8 Here’s
a story a woman sent in: While
in college I became used to doing my laundry in the
evenings quietly at the local laundry mat. Unfortunately,
one evening a handsome young man happened
to be there. I knew he was
watching me and I watched
him as he fidgeted with his thoughts.
I sat several
feet away from him doing my homework.
Here's the
line: "Do
these wash machines work real good?" I
thought it was the stupidest thing I ever heard.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #9 "I know you, you were at such and such place/party" (of course it is a lie) "Please, I am having a difficut time saying anything to you I am so filled with desire for you" Bad Pick Up Line Submission #10 Baby, I'd like to
stick it up to your chest & make it squirt out of your eyeballs. Baby, I'd stick it so far up, when you moan, you'll be giving me a hum job. **** The Amazing “Women Approach You First” Secrets of a 5’ 7” Former Loser from Texas, That Can Get You All the Women You Want No Matter Your Looks, age or Income. To discover the “women attracting” secrets jealous girls and loud mouthed jerks hope you never do, go to www.womenapproachyou.com right now **** Bad Pick Up Line Submission #11 Hey,
would you like a free moustache ride? “Drinking
alone is a bad habit” “Can
I see your tan lines”? “I
wonder what our children would look like” “Can
I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want
for Christmas” “Help
the homeless. Take me home with you” I'd
love to suck the snot out of your box! I'll suck on
your box so hard the top of your head will cave in. Bad Pick Up Line Submission #12 Well,
I think the worse pick up line I've ever heard was, "Hey Babe, what's
your sign!" Now, there was this woman who told me that there
was this rather interesting
pick up line that worked on her. It
went something like this.
"Hello Miss, do you know who painted nude decending the
stairs?" C. J.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #13 "Your
eye's are like spanners " "
Why? " "
Because every time I look at them my nuts go tight! " Excuse
me but are you in pain? (Pause for her answer.) Because the way you walk
is killing me. A
friend of mine actually used this one. Walk
to the girl you are trying for and say "You want to grab a pizza, go
back to my place and f**k?" If
she says no say "What, you don't like pizza!?" If
anything at least your friends will be entertained. Rob Bad Pick Up Line Submission #14 (submitted by a woman) John,
I'm a woman who lurks on your ezine. I'm dying to get my hands on your Gold Upgrade Package---roughly the equivalent of the Panther's being able to hack into the Patriot's playbook.
I'm a beautiful woman. So, I do get guys who try to pick me up. The WORST pick up line is (drum roll, please) . . . Don't I know you from somewhere? Or, it's mutant variation: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Running a close second is:
Are you new around here?
So totally unoriginal, unimaginative and unintelligent. Any guy who uses those pick ups is automatically branded with a big L. A guy who opens like that will NEVER get my contact info.
The best pick up line I ever heard occurred when I was sitting in a local coffee shop eating my lunch. This man walked in, saw me sitting there and then walked over to my table and said, "I saw you the minute I walked in the door and I just know I'll always regret it if I didn't come over and introduce myself."
WOW! I thought that guy has self confidence and he goes for what he wants. VERY attractive. BTW, he did get my contact info and a date!
Good enough for the Gold Upgrade Package?
Laurie M.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #15 The
worst line I swear I ever did hear.... Bad Pick Up Line Submission #16 For
any woman who has an adult daughter... "Hi...will
you let me 'DO' your daughter if I 'DO' YOU first??" (Do
not try this unless you like bones broken you didn't even know you had!) Bart Bad Pick Up Line Submission #17 The
worst pick up line a guy ever used on a girl was out of control he
told her that "her dad must be a terrorist, because she was the bomb'
I died when I heard this one its super funny. Here's one that sucks, and sucks so bad it's not even worth repeating: Hey babe, HEY ...HEY ...you know, I believe in looove at first site: and there you are! ...And another loser line: Hi, de'ya know what time it is? (wait for a resp, if there is one) ...it's time we go out. There's more, but they make me want to puke. Bob C. Bad Pick Up Line Submission #18 Heard in a bar in St. Paul MN "Would you like to take a shower with me?" *** Unlock your full male potential now… discover how to get beautiful, desirable women to approach you first for a date, no matter your looks, age or income. It doesn’t matter whether you want to date lots of women… or you want to meet that one special one for a lifetime relationship. To discover secrets to getting women to approach you, secrets that have been kept from you until now, go to www.womenapproachyou.com for an unusual free report *** Bad Pick Up Line Submission #19 Here's
a couple 1)hey
baby how did u get so beautiful? Maybe I can take 2)hey
baby is that a mirror in you're pants? Because I can
see myself in them. 3)yo
baby do u have any white in you? No? Do u want some? what
women say after 1)i
have one asshole in my pants already- I don't need 2)f**k
off Bad Pick Up Line Submission #20 Honey,
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one Bad Pick Up Line Submission #21 Man:
"Did you just grab my butt?" Woman:
"No!" Man:
"Do you wanna?" Bad Pick Up Line Submission #22 Love
is blind. We should touch. Is
that a mirror in your pants, cuz i can sure see my self in them. Have
you seen my congressional medal of honor (or purple heart or red badge of
courage or...? I seemed to have lost it? will
it fit? do
you like peanut butter? do you wanna F*ck? and
my favorite..altho its not a pickup line due to the work i do but the clothes
come off fast and creates massive authority....... "
take off your clothes so i can see your body and what i can do with
it" oh by
the way are you wearing underwear? fastest
time was 20 minutes on her back then i did my work on her. paid to work
on and look at hot bodies...life is good. Joe
Bad
Pick Up Line Submission #23 "I
must be hallucinating; yours isn't a face, it's a vision." "Do
you have any time, because it stopped for me when I saw you." "Let's
cut through the games (b.s., small-talk) and just get real." "Beautiful
women like you scare most guys..." "I'm
not from around here, want to show me around? and,
of course... Loser:
"Did it hurt?" Woman:
"Did what hurt?" Loser:
"When you fell from heaven?" "If
I told you you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" An
old favorite of mine, from a guy in a coat check-out line in a desperate
attempt to get a woman to come home with him as the club was closing
at 3:00 AM: "You're
so damn sweet that I'm getting cavities in my teeth!" Bad Pick Up Line Submission #25
Here are some bad ones I have heard:
Do
you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Write
down your number before I don't want it anymore.
Man,
your so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a field of you. Bad Pick Up Line Submission #26 Here's a terrible one and you don't have to even say anything. Just write clearly on a card "Laugh if you want to sleep with me." Then fold it and give it to a woman in a public place. Then stand back and (while she's unfolding the card) assume a really overdone proud posture. Like with your hands on your hips, chest stuck out and your face really screwed up as cocky and noble as possible, so much so that it'll look ridiculous. She'll read the card, get pissed, then look at you and laugh. Ha! Or kick you in the balls. Agh! Bad Pick Up Line Submission #27 My
absolute favorite was due to the circumstances and the result, rather than
the line itself. lol "Hey
blondie, drop your laundry!" This
was said by a very drunk guy to an attractive female... who just turned around
to fully reveal her police uniform, badge gun and all... and who promptly
arrested said idiot for drunk and disorderly and drunk in public.
Truly
a Kodak moment! Anthony
in Florida
*** What if everything you ever thought you knew about dating and relationships was just plain wrong? Would you keep doing the same things and getting the same results? Or would you try something new and radically different? To stop dating, and start living, go to www.womenapproachyou.com and discover new, unusual attraction secrets! *** Bad Pick Up Line Submission #28
John, Here
are a few I have heard used in the past as well as some that some
lady friends shared with me, and a couple my friends tried and yes
I did too. I have found just starting a simple conversation works
much better, so I retired the lines... "I
wish you could have known me before my medication was adjusted." "Penny
for your thoughts? 20 dollars to act them out...?" "Whoo,
Santa
Clause should be leaving you the cookie." (in other words she's
the present for those that don't get it) "You're
a spotlight amongst 40 watt bulbs." "You're
hotter than a pop tart fresh out of the toaster." "You're
so fine I'd drink your bath water." "Your
lips look wrinkled. Mind if I press them?" "Are
those real?" (I actually heard a guy ask a lady this one, and everybody
else in the bar heard it also) "Yo
Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me "Girl
you look so sweet, I get a toothache just looking at you." "You
know you could save money on groceries if you come home with me." (a
guy actually asked a lady I know this one in a grocery store) "Girl
you must be a terrorist... because you are the BOMB." "I'd
like to wrap a Big Red Bow around you and put you under my tree for (believe
or not a friend of mine said this to a lady, and he ended up going
out with her, as I ended up driving home alone that night) "Have
you ever seen an angel wrapped in plastic? She say's No. May I see "Can
I give you my number just in case Hell does freeze over?" "Hi
will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap "Baby,
I
am like chocolate pudding, I may look like crap, but I am actually
sweet as hell." "Are
those space pants you have on? Because your butt looks out of this "I'm
not feeling myself today... mind if I feel you?" "Could
you please step away from the bar? Your melting the ice!" (I'll "That's
a very nice outfit you have on. It would look even better rolled "Do
you eat lots of Lucky charms because you look magically delicious." "You
remind me of my third wife? She asks how many times were you married?",
Twice." "Waitress
asks, what will you have? You on toast without the dressing!" (this
one gets you great service in a restaurant, yea right?) "Can
I have your phone number? Why she asks? Because I lost mine." "Honey,
You
are so hot, I'll bet you leave footprints on the pavement." (one
of the worst lines I ever heard) "How
would you like to "go half" on a baby?" Well
I hope that out of these real gems that I've shared with the club,
A
. J . is
that a mirror in your skirt cuz i can see myself in your knickers tonight Paul,
Edinburgh
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #30 "Baby,
are you from Tenessee, because you're the only ten
I see!" Bad Pick Up Line Submission #31
Dear
John
I
must admit that I'm a women but I still subscribe to your newsletter because
I want to know what guys think.
Anyways
the worse pick up line was :Do you have mirrors in your pants cuz I can
definitely see myself in them" That was very rude and made me see that
he
was only interested in one thing and that it wasn't conversation.
Anyways
thank you for teaching all the jerks the error of their ways
Forever yours
Luciana
*** "My Friend Bet Me I Couldn't Get a Date With the Hottest Chick in the Gym - But When He Watched Her Turn Around and Walk Right Up to Me First ..." You should have seen the guy’s face… his jaw nearly hit the ground. He never, ever would have believed this stunning, first! And this wasn't an isolated event. Fact is, I haven't approached a girl in years. Why should I, when I know how to make them come to me first? You can make them come to you, too – go to www.womenapproachyou.com to discover why she came to me, and how you can do the same. ***
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #32
Some of the worst one's I've heard:
I love every bone in your body, especially mine
If it owned the dictionary I would put u and I together
"Do your feet hurt, because you've been running through my mind all day long"
If you and I were squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your hole..
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #33
"You're
a reason why cloning should be legal - every guy should have one of you." Bad Pick Up Line Submission #34
Oh...let's
see...I've heard a lot as I too talk to women about chat-up lines, although
I do defend the use of them. The key is knowing when to use them and
also, don't look like you think it's actually going to work...just have a
bit of fun! It's a way of breaking the ice. If you can make them laugh at a
chat up line and you laugh too, half the battles gone my friend. "I
know I'm not the best looking guy in the room but hey, I don't see anyone talking
to you." "Nice
shoes. They'd look good at the end of my bed." "I
miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?" "How
much does a polar bear weigh with a ton of bricks? I don't know but I knew
it would break the ice" "I'm
like an aqua-fresh tooth brush baby. I'm not cheap, I bend and flex in the
right directions and I'll clean your crack out." "What
do you want for breakfast?" "I'm
a stud muffin baby, why don't you take a bite?" "Do
you sleep on your front? Mind if I do?" "Let's
go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway." "Want
to go back to mine for a f**k and a pizza?" "If
I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" - Right...for this one you need to call them over with your
index finger and
say, "If I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do
with my
whole hand." and
the finally, "Hey, I've got a yacht." (I hate to say it, but
I've seen this
one work!) Cheers, Chris
Hey
babe, what's up? Hey,
We both went to different High Schools together! Jerry
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #36
John,
I got this one from a friend, who actually used to use it -
"Are you Jamaican, cause ja-makin' me horny!"
Bad
Pick Up Line Submission #37 Hey
King, Here's
two of the most stupid pick up lines I've ever heard (or think of): "Nice
rack." (I heard this pick up line from Jackie Chan's movie "The
Tuxedo"... what an awesome way to get slapped, huh? :-) and... "Excuse
me, may I disturb you for a minute please?"
(a perfect line to
define authority... for the woman! And a killer way to get an instant
rejection. Believe it or not, I heard a street salesman actually say
this line when they're approaching their prospect who seems to be
in a real hurry. Stupid, huh?) Keep
the funny emails coming, King! I love it. Andri
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #38 go
up to a women sitting at a bar and ask if when she gets up if you can push
her "stool" in. Bad Pick Up Line Submission #39 HEY BABY FOR 25 CENTS I WILL GIVE YOU A TONGUE BATH FROM HEAD TO TOE! DENNIS L Bad Pick Up Line Submission #40 (musical intro)
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #40 Nice shoes, wanna
f**k? You:
"Did it hurt?" Girl: "What do you mean? You: "You are so beautiful - like an angle. You must have fallen out of the heavens."
You: Have you heard the story of the hurt penguin? Girl: Which story? You: "The one that broke the ice..." Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled
backwards with a little bit of you in it. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
lol, got these from my father, good stuff
***** No More Heartbreak, Ever: discover how to never get your heart broken again, and experience only the fun and pleasure women have to offer you. Imagine, finally being in complete control of your own outcomes with women. Only a select few men will qualify for these secrets—to discover them before it’s too late, go to: http://www.womenapproachyou.com *********************************
Bad
Pick Up Line Submission #41 "Hi,
do you believe in God? She"
"Yes, yes I do!" Reply:
" Well he just told me to ask you out "
Truth
of the matter John, woman either think you are crazy
( most often ) or they think you're funny. Stan
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #42
"You
do the math baby. You, plus me, minus our clothes, divide your legs - and
multiply!" Stu
H.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #43 Are
you Australian? How are the kisses down under?
One of my friends tried this one, not
only did he get the hell slapped outta him, he got black listed
from the dating social circle in my school.
Was also sued for sexual harassment. I told him not to say it, if
he did I wasn't gonna be nowhere around him when he did.
Since then I haven't seen him since. It was funny to think it, but
saying it knowing what the reaction would be was totally different than
what he thought it was gonna be.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #44 "If
you were a screen door I would slam you all night long." N year old.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #45 "Want
to come to my place and see my stamp collection?" Note:
this one is the total truth; this guy actually did
this to a girl. I wouldn't
have believed it myself
if she didn't say it. And why
would she lie about
that? I couldn't believe it. can
I borrow a quarter because my mom told me to call her when I fell in love do
you have any Italian in you? No? would you like some? This
one is pretty good....."Roses are red violets are blue, I like spaghetti,
lets go screw" or this one is equally as funny "I have an un-curable
illnessut with me." or "Hey your pretty good looking, and I have
a lot of money"
from Chris
P.S If anyone tries these and they work
email me.
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #46
Here it is,
"I'm gonna call you jalepeno" of course the she'll ask "why?" then you say to her, "Because you're so HOT!"
Genaro J
Bad Pick Up Line Submission #47
Hi here
are two beauts that the guys at my school use: 1 wanna get with a movie star - I'm Sylvester and I'm still
alone! |
