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January 10, 2006

She said, "you just got lucky..."

Dear Friend and Subscriber,

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On with the fun...

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

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Posted by john at 04:15 PM

Are you too trusting?

Hey guys,

I have a good friend who believes everything he hears. In fact, not only does he believe everything he hears, he WANTS to believe everything he hears. This hurts him in business, and hurts him with women.

When things don't turn out like he was told they were, he is flat out amazed. "But she said she would call me, and I don't understand why she hasn't!" he constantly says.

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You see, he continually gets into trouble because he takes at face value what people tell him without taking time to search for the true behavior behind the words. He often says he is "too trusting" but this is not true--he's actually too lazy to develop the skill to interpret the true meaning of conversation.

Most people think that human behavior is unique and random, but it's not. It's actually very predictable, and what a person says gives clues to their future behavior which is usually NOT what they say it's going to be.

If, for example, a woman says, "I'll call you" or "Call me on Thursday to see if I'm available on Friday," her real behavior is that she's not attracted.

If someone who wants your business tells you "we're not like everyone else, we always get it done on time," chances are they're worse than everyone else.

If someone tells you that "integrity and ethics" are very important to them, chances are they're out to rob you blind.

The trick is to become adept at identifying language that predicts negative behavior. The way to do this is to start paying attention to what people say and what they do next. What you find is, there are common language patterns that are predictive of bad behavior.

Most people know this, but what they're bad at is actually using that information. Why? Because they want to believe so badly in what the other person is telling them, they fall for the same line again, even after they've fallen for it three times and gotten hammered.

I've always said that predictability is much more important than trust. I don't measure people on whether or not I can trust them, I measure them on how well I can predict the future good or bad based on what they say. The way to do that is to pay attention to the true linkage between language and behavior, not what you wish it to be.

If you want to get results in reality, you have to make decisions based on reality, not what you wish was reality. Stop "trusting" and start predicting.

On with the fun....

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS Ready to step up to the Big Leagues and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Then go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 10:08 AM