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August 25, 2006

They laughed when I said she was going to approach me first...

Dear friends and subscribers,

...but their jaws hit the ground when this stunning, blond beauty boldly walked up to me and handed me her phone number.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My good friend Don pointed her out in the crowd--"She's the only good one in the room," he said, "and you have no chance with her."

"The question," I replied with a knowing wink, "is whether she has a chance with me. Watch and learn, my friend." He just laughed... but an hour later when she came up to me and introduced herself (Stacey was her name), Don's jaw nearly hit the ground.

"I can't believe it," he said, "I just can't believe it. There were all kinds of richer, better looking guys than you in the room, yet she came up to you AFTER they'd all approached her. What was it that you did?"

"Oh, it was simple," I replied, "And it will work for any man, even a skinny geek like you. All I did was...." To discover what I did to get this stunner to approach me, and how you can do the same, simply go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm

On with the fun...


-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS If they're laughing at you now, wait until they see you after you've discovered my secrets. To shut them up for good, go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm

Posted by john at 04:45 PM

What to do about phone numbers

Hey guys,

Have you ever had this happen to you? You're talking to a woman, creating attraction, and she's obviously into you. You want to meet her again at a later time, and you know she wants to meet you. So you ask her for her phone number... and never see her again.

Why does this happen? What should you do about it? Logically speaking, it shouldn't happen because, if there's attraction, she should want to see you again... and you have to be able to get in touch with her, right? But attraction has nothing to do with logic, as you will see...

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Here's the question that sparked today's episode:

Hey good work with everything,

Straight out... what do you do when you've layed out the work and you've been talking to this chick and when you ask for her number she says no? What is a cocky and funny line? Somthing like... ' you're loss' but not as arrogant?

Awaiting your reply,

a.s

JA: Thanks for the question, A.S. This is a problem a lot of guys have, and one reason I spend so much time on it in Secrets of Natural Attraction (see http://www.effortlesscommunication.com/enter.htm for details). First off, if she says no, you probably haven't done a good job of "laying out the work" and she's not as attracted as you thought.

However, this is not always the case. Sometimes the act of asking for a phone number kills attraction dead. Why? Because it brings back memories (what the NLP crowd calls firing off an anchor) of all the other guys (dorks) who've asked her for her phone number, and she associates the unattractive feelings to you. I've asked women how they feel when a guy asks for their phone number, and they all say something like this: "No matter how much I've enjoyed talking with him, when a guys asks for my number, it's like a huge cement door closing, and I don't know why. Even though I want to give it to him, I find myself saying no."

The solution, actually is simple: don't ask for a phone number. Give her an opportunity to "continue the conversation at another time." Then set up a meeting, then and there, and get her to commit to it. Then "exchange contact information"--i.e. phone and email. What I say to her is, "oh, let's exchange contact information so we'll be able to get in touch with each other if need be." Then I take out a pen and a piece of paper, write my "cell number" and email on it, tear it in half, then give both pieces to her along with my pen. She always takes the pen, and mirrors what I wrote down on the paper I handed her, then gives it back to me.

I never mention the word "phone" and she never feels like she's giving me a phone number. This experience is so different for her that she doesn't lump me in with all the other guys she's talked to--I'm new, I'm different, I'm confident, and I'm attractive. This sets up our next meeting, which she starts looking forward to instead of dreading.

And that's how you solve the phone number problem!

On with the fun....

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"


PPS Are you finally ready to step up to the Big Leagues and lead a lifetime of power and success with women? Go to http://www.johnalanis.com/ultimate_system.htm right now.

Posted by john at 10:56 AM